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Title: Janni
Author: [ profile] steinsgrrl
Fandom: Tokio Hotel
Pairing: Tom/Bill
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I in no way intend to insinuate that any of the below actually happened. It is simply a piece of written entertainment based on the public personas of real people.
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Twincest-not related, Adult Concepts, Light Kink
Summary: When two men meet and fall in love, they expect there will be bumps in the road. When one of those men has a daughter, some bumps can seem more like mountains.
Author's Note: Thank you so much to [ profile] ma_chelle for the beta. You are invaluable. Lovely banner by [ profile] lynnchan.

“And then,” Tom said, pausing to swallow and take a drink of water. “he told me that the interview was really a formality. He said that he’d seen my work and he liked it and essentially, I’m hired!”

Tom smiled proudly as Janni crowed from her chair, “Yay! Daddy got a job, Daddy got a job!” She bounced in place, the table bouncing with her and Bill snatched up his and her water glasses in both hands.

“Settle down, little girl,” Bill gave her his best stern expression but her giggles were contagious and he caught his lips twitching, fighting a grin.

“I don’t have it yet, though; I still have to go talk to Mr. Erlewine tomorrow, but,” Tom couldn’t contain his glee and he veritably squealed. “I got a job!”

Bill smiled the smile he knew Tom would want to see, the smile he knew was appropriate, but inside, his stomach was churning, threatening to reject the food he’d just swallowed. He grabbed Tom's hand and squeezed, his thumb stroking across Tom's knuckles. “Congratulations! This is so wonderful for you!”

“Wonderful for us, Bill! Now you won’t have to be saddled with all the bills on your own. I can finally be productive again, too. I hated not having something to work on.” He lifted Bill’s hand slowly to his lips as he blinked lazily at Bill. “Except you. I kinda like working on you,” He murmured, before kissing Bill’s fingers lightly. “Or is that working you over?”

The churning in Bill’s stomach only got worse and his other hand clutched at his own knee under the table, nails digging into his jeans.

Janni giggled from her spot at the table and poked her carrots around on her plate. “Daddy, that’s silly! How do you work on Bill?” She looked up at them, waiting for someone to answer but Bill definitely couldn’t. His face heated up and he pulled his hand from Tom's, taking a drink to cover his embarrassment.

Tom cleared his throat and ducked his head, his face as red as Bill’s felt. “I was talking to Bill, not silly Janni who won’t eat her carrots. What are you doing with those, anyway?”

Janni turned her attention back to her plate, which was what Bill figured Tom wanted her to do, and he thought about how well they worked together. He watched as Tom separated out the amount of carrots Janni absolutely had to eat before she could be excused and as Janni tried to bargain with him for less. It didn’t work, though, and in the end, Janni ate what she was supposed to and with a minimum of fuss, just because of the way Tom was with her. Bill wondered if anyone else could ever be to Janni anything close to what Tom was. Could he?

Could Anjelica?

“Do I need to separate them out for you, too?” Tom smirked and Bill looked up in surprise. Lost in thought, Bill had been pushing his own carrots around his plate. Janni slid off her chair and carefully took her plate from the table and into the kitchen and Bill attempted a smile.

“The best thing about this,” Tom lowered his voice and leaned in toward Bill, Bill shifting forward instinctually, “is that now the court can’t say I can’t support my own daughter. I’m not completely reliant on your income; I could support her on my own. The lawyer said that would be a big plus for our case.”

Hope gleamed in Tom's eyes and Bill pushed his chair back. He couldn’t sit here anymore; he needed to get up and away. For just a little bit, he needed to get away. Maybe he should go in and see how things were going in the pub. Maybe Max needed some help with the evening--

“Ready for my bath, Daddy!” Janni skipped in from the kitchen. “Can I play with that new mermaid underwater castle that you bought?” She bounced on one foot, then the other, anxious for her father’s reply, and Tom snickered.

“Yeah, sure. You go find a nightgown and I’ll be up in a minute.”

Tom stood to clear the table and Bill shooed him upstairs. With Tom up there helping Janni with her bath, Bill might have a few moments alone to think. To figure out what he needed to do. He cleared the table on his own, rinsing the dishes and loading them in the dishwasher. He set the cycle to run but left the dishwasher door open just a little. Hot water for dishes meant no hot water for Janni, so he left it for now.

The table needed wiping down, and Bill took care of it quickly, methodically, as he would have wiped down the tables in his pub.

His pub. What about his pub?

Bill sighed and shook his head, draping the cloth over the faucet in the kitchen. On the way to the living room, he paused by the stairs. Tom was still up there with Janni; he could hear her in the bath, babbling away at Tom and the rumble of Tom's voice in response and Bill moved quickly away from the steps.

The living room was relatively picked up, though Brownie had somehow made his way downstairs and was sitting in the corner of the couch, not seeming to mind that he was standing on his head there. Bill sat with him, picked him up and plopped down in his place, and looked into the bear’s big, black eyes. The face reflected in them looked sad and tired and Bill petted the top of the bear’s head with a trembling hand before hugging the bear hard to him.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, listening to the voices from upstairs and the footsteps that led from the bathroom to Janni’s bedroom, but suddenly it seemed, those footsteps were pounding down the stairs.

“Bill! Look what I can do!” Janni jumped from the second step, landing awkwardly and almost falling on one knee. She bounced up quickly and grinned at him. “See? That was really high!” She bounded toward him and launched herself at his lap before he could even open his arms. A bony knee dug into his thigh and he caught his breath, a groan of pain following on the exhale. “Oh!” Janni scooted back a couple inches and rubbed her little hand softly where her knee hit. “Sorry! Sorry, Bill.”

Bill hummed and opened his arms, and Janni took her spot on his lap. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged tightly while he gathered her as close as he could, burying his nose in her wet hair. It was freshly washed and smelled like that cheap strawberry shampoo that Bill couldn’t get Tom to quit buying, but right now, he didn’t even care. He wished he could sit forever with Janni in his lap, just hugging her and talking to her and listening to her babble on and on like they had taken the habit of doing.

“Hey, you know what?” Janni pushed against his shoulder and he loosened his grip. “Daddy let me play with the mermaid castle. Do you know if you put that mermaid that lives there, if you put her under the water, her tail turns blue? It’s pink when she’s dry but when she gets wet, she turns blue. I don’t know how that works and daddy doesn’t know. Do you know how that works?”

He met her eyes, brown and smart and kind like her father’s, and his throat closed up. It took everything he had to answer her and when he did, his voice was rough with emotion.

“Mermaid magic?” He coughed. He knew she wasn’t stupid; if he didn’t pull himself together, she would know something was wrong. And Bill didn’t want her to know anything. Not until she had to.

Concern filled Janni’s face and she frowned, holding her palm to Bill’s forehead. “Are you okay? Are you getting sick?” She looked around for Tom, whom Bill heard in the kitchen. The clinking of glasses and dishes told Bill that Tom was rearranging the dishwasher that Bill had just filled, and Bill normally would have rolled his eyes. “Maybe Daddy should get you an aspirin?”

“No, I’m okay,” Bill promised, hating to lie and knowing he had to. He picked up Brownie and pushed the stuffed animal playfully against Janni’s chest. “Think you wanna take your old friend to bed? I don’t think he’ll sleep well out here without you.”

Janni’s face fell. “Fine,” she grumped. “Don’t really wanna go to bed, you know.” Bill assured her he knew, but that she had to, and she kissed his cheek, slid off Bill’s lap, taking Brownie with her. “’Night, Bill. See you in the morning.”

As she turned away, Bill pinched the sleeve of her nightgown, stopping her until she turned. “Hey!” She smiled hopefully, her eyes glinting like she thought Bill wanted to play.

But Bill didn’t want to play. He scooted forward on the couch and hugged her to him hard. “I love you, Janni girl. You know that, right?” His vision blurred and shimmered so he closed his eyes tight and held his breath.

“I love you, too, silly Billy,” Janni croaked in his ear. “You’re squishing me!”

Bill pulled back then, his palms cupping her ears as he pressed a kiss to her forehead before spinning her by the shoulders and nudging her toward the stairs. She trudged up reluctantly, dragging Brownie along. As her footsteps slowed at the top, Bill let out a shaky breath, grabbed his cell and went outside.


Tom opened the back door and poked his head out, giving his eyes a second to adjust to not having light to see by. He shivered as frigid wind gusted around him, goosebumps scattering up his arms. Bill was leaning against the railing on the back porch, his head down and his cell pressed to his ear.


Bill shot a glance at Tom over his shoulder. He raised a hand briefly, lit cigarette gesturing for one more moment, while nodding on the phone before snapping it closed and sliding it into his pocket. He took one more long drag from his smoke and crushed it out, dropping the spent butt in the metal coffee can by the railing.

“Sorry,” he said, as he followed Tom back into the house. “You know how David gets when he can’t get in touch with me.”

Closing the door behind them, Tom's brows furrowed. “I didn’t even hear it ring.”

“You were in the kitchen and the phone was in my pocket.” Bill shrugged and took Tom by the shoulders, turning him and sliding his arms around Tom's waist. He snuggled in, resting his head on Tom's shoulder, nuzzling into his neck. Tom sucked in a long breath and let it out slowly, relishing the feeling of Bill in his arms, trying to let out the tension of the day. They rocked there, just the barest of movements, but it settled him and that was what Tom needed.

“Come to bed?” Bill whispered huskily, his fingers sliding under Tom's shirt and across smooth skin. Goosebumps spread where Bill’s chilly fingers touched and Tom twitched, nipping at the juncture of Bill’s neck and shoulder.

“Tickles.” He pulled the neck of Bill’s shirt aside and bit him again, grinning at Bill’s moan as Tom laved his tongue over faint teeth marks.

Bill took his hand and led him upstairs, detouring only a moment to check on Janni. She was snuggled down low in her bed, one leg thrown out from under the covers, her nightgown twisting around her hips. Tom gently nudged her leg back on the bed and pulled the cover up, tucking the blanket under her, and kissed her forehead softly.

He’d expected Bill to meet him in their room but he’d stayed, and he tucked Tom’s hand tightly into his own again as Tom closed Janni’s door quietly.

Their own room was still and the air felt heavy around him. Tom closed the door while Bill waited, facing him at the end of the bed. As soon as the door was locked, Bill began taking his clothes off slowly, deliberately. Bill’s eyes locked hungrily on him and heat flared inside him. He feasted his eyes on each newly revealed piece of smooth skin, his fingers itching to touch Bill, caress him, his tongue longing to taste him, and their clothing fell to the floor in tandem.

“Tom,” Bill said, and it was like a question and a demand and a plea all in one. And then Tom was in front of him, finally getting to touch, getting to taste him while Bill’s breath stuttered and hitched and he clutched at Tom's shoulder. Tom tipped Bill back, easing him down onto the bed, and Bill was all hands and tongue and teeth, giving back as good as he got. And when Tom didn’t move fast enough for him, Bill pushed his way out from under him and took control. He laid Tom back on the bed, kissing him, loving him and Tom felt Bill’s heart in all of it. He felt the need in every touch, the want in every scorching kiss, and he pulled Bill over the top of him, settling him across his lap, erection straining between Bill’s legs.

Bill cupped his hands over Tom's cheeks, his thumbs sliding over open, moist lips, and Tom sucked one into his mouth. Bill gasped and closed his eyes, rolling his hips just a little and Tom tongued the pad of Bill’s thumb for a moment before letting it go with a pop. Bill opened his eyes then and moved his caresses down, over Tom's neck, down his chest, his fingers moving reverently, eyes shining with love and wetness and Tom ached. Bill was so beautiful up there, loving him, that it was almost a real, physical ache, and he couldn’t take it.

He pulled Bill down to him, kissing him thoroughly, loving the taste of him, the feel of him until a movement and a click made him pull back to look. Bill was having none of it. His tongue plunged between Tom's lips, plundering, thrusting, as Bill’s arm moved behind himself. Tom's hips strained up as Bill’s thrust down and they rutted together, Bill whimpering into Tom's mouth.

Tom wanted to grab Bill, wrap his fingers tightly over sharp hipbones and grind Bill down on him hard but as passionate as this was, as hot as they were, he knew…he could feel that this was something else. So instead of grabbing, he caressed; instead of scratching, he smoothed, and Bill grunted with the displeasure of pulling back, even though he was the one who did.

Bill kneeled up, never taking his eyes off Tom, and slowly lowered himself onto Tom's cock. As the tip went in, as Bill inched himself down so carefully, it was everything Tom could do not to scratch Bill’s thighs where his hands were clamped. Everything he could do to not thrash on the sheets from the sheer pleasure of Bill’s heat and strong muscles clenching around his dick. He sucked his breath in and held it, grinding his teeth, trying not to thrust up hard.

And then Bill was settled on him. He wiggled a little, clamping down and letting loose and Tom thought he might come undone right then. “Bill…” he groaned, closing his eyes tightly and losing the battle with his hips. He pushed up into Bill, bringing them impossibly closer, making him impossibly harder, and Bill fell forward, catching himself with his palms on Tom's chest.

“Open your eyes,” Bill whispered hoarsely. “Look at me, Tom.”

Tom wasn’t about to argue. Not with this, not with anything Bill wanted. He opened his eyes and watched as Bill began to move. He moved subtly at first, using more muscle than motion to caress Tom's cock with moist, satin flesh, and Tom squirmed. He wanted to push into Bill again, tried to push again, but Bill shook his head, almost imperceptibly, and pressed his nails into Tom's skin.

“God, Bill.” Tom groaned, close to gnashing his teeth. “Baby, move. Please…”

Bill did. He moved slowly and sensuously and Tom was overwhelmed. Bill leaned down, connecting their lips again and again, and Tom was dizzy with the love he felt for Bill just then. Bill’s hair whispered over his skin with every stroke, with every thrust, and Tom whimpered beneath the touch. The clenching in his chest when he looked at Bill met the fire in his belly and the electricity between them and the rest of the world faded away. There was nothing outside their door, nothing outside their bed. There was only him and Bill and the heat between them and it mingled and danced and flared higher until they both burned up with it, crying out with the joy and the pain and the ecstasy until they fell together, spent and covered in come and sweat.

Tom held Bill where he lay over him, his thin frame not much for warmth and before long, they were shivering as their skin cooled. Bill eased off of him, lying down beside him as Tom fetched a warm cloth. He cleaned Bill himself, taking special care to be gentle and Bill mouthed a quiet ‘thank you’ as Tom climbed back into bed.

He snuggled right into Tom, right into his arms, molding himself to Tom's side and nosing Tom's dreads aside to get to his neck. Tom pulled Bill to him tightly, squeezing his arm around a delicate shoulder, and he drifted off, thinking about his interview in the morning, thinking about having that job. Thinking about finally being able to support Bill and Janni.

Asleep, he couldn’t know about how Bill’s lashes fluttered against his neck as Bill laid awake in his arms. He couldn’t know about the tears that Bill cried, the ones that slid down Bill’s cheek, and pooled in the dip behind Tom's collarbone. He couldn’t know about how Bill pressed salty lips softly against Tom’s cheek before falling into a restless sleep.

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