Don't Walk Away, NC17, Bill/Natalie
Jun. 9th, 2009 10:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
steins_storiesTitle: Don't Walk Away
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
steinsgrrl
Fandom: Tokio Hotel
Pairing: Bill/Natalie
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I in no way intend to insinuate that any of the below actually happened. It is simply a piece of written entertainment based on the public personas of real people.
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Adult Content
Summary: Natalie knew she had to go; Bill knew he had to make her stay.
Author's Note: Written for the Tokio Hotel Fiction Challenge #1: Flip Flop.
Bill knew something was wrong before he even saw her walking toward him. He knew it by the way she’d pulled away from him lately, by the way she didn’t touch him as much as she used to and the way she closed her eyes when she did touch him. Like she wanted to block him out, block everything out.
He knew it and now she’d found him behind the stage. As soon as she’d found him, pinned him with a look that he couldn’t read, she’d walked toward him, her eyes shifting to the floor in front of her.
The light was dim where they stood behind the stage, and the roadies had long since packed up the instruments and equipment. Bill really should be on the bus by now; he knew the guys would be waiting for him so they could get the hell out of there and on to the next town. She had texted him, though; told him they needed to talk, and this spot was as private as they were going to get.
When she got to him, she stopped and leaned against the wall, her head tilted to rest against the plaster. “Bill.” Her voice was tense, nervous, and Bill’s stomach clenched.
She’d stopped out of arms reach, making him come to her. He didn’t know if that was her plan or if this was some sort of power play, but it didn’t matter. He’d go anywhere she wanted him. He moved closer and leaned against the wall next to her, mirroring her.
“Natalie.” Bill smirked and hoped that he wasn’t right; he hoped that it would only take a smirk and a little humor to fix whatever was wrong, but he had a strong suspicion that it wouldn’t.
She sighed and pushed strands of long, blonde hair behind her ear. She crossed her arms over her chest and he waited for her to speak.
It didn’t take long.
“I can’t do this.” Her gaze rested absently on his belt buckle.
“Can’t do what, Nat?” He couldn’t breathe. He knew what this was, knew it would happen, even with all the hoping and everything he’d done to prevent it; this was inevitable. Bill didn’t want to hear any more, but he couldn’t leave.
“Bill, I can’t do this anymore.” Her whisper was plaintive as she continued. “This isn’t fair. It’s not fair to you, or to me, or to my husband. To my child.”
Bill looked at her then, watching her, hoping for any sign at all that she might not be serious. That she might be persuaded to not do this. He saw nothing like that at all. He saw a beautiful woman with bags under her eyes and her lips pursed. He saw downcast eyes, ringed with dark circles.
She was serious, but no matter the consequences, he couldn’t let her leave.
Bill didn’t think. He didn’t have time for thinking, he only had time to change her mind, and change her mind now. He pushed her shoulder until her back was against the wall.
“Bill-” Natalie started to protest, but she got no further before Bill crushed his lips to hers.
He had to stop her from leaving and this was the only way he knew how. His hands gripped her hips, pushing them against the wall and pulling them to him, as if he didn’t know what to do with them or with her but he couldn’t help but grab her and hold her. Bill’s fingers tightened, his thumbs rubbing across warm skin above the waistline of her jeans and her breath hitched.
She didn’t stop him, didn‘t protest, and he thought that must be a good sign. He thought that must be a sign that she was wrong. She knew she was wrong and she would stay. Why else would she kiss him back?
He pulled away, just far enough to look at her, needing to read her. Lust glinted reluctantly in her eyes, but the blue there was laced with a dark guilt, and he almost let go. He almost let her walk away. He never wanted to hurt her, never wanted to hurt anyone, but his stomach was roiling and aching at just the thought of her leaving, and he knew he couldn‘t just give up. He knew he couldn’t let her walk away. Maybe if he could just make her see, if he could just make her feel him, she would stay. Maybe just for a little while.
“Dammit, let me-” He brought his lips down on hers again, needing to feel her, taste her, but mostly needing to stop those words from coming from her lips. Maybe if she couldn’t say it, she wouldn’t do it. Bill knew he was grasping for any hope he could find, but there was nothing else he could do.
His hands seemed to move of their own accord, pushing up her blouse and under the bottom of her bra, the underwires popping up and over the tops of her breasts. She sighed into his mouth as his palms grazed over hardening nipples and he swiped his thumbs across them, teasing them to attention.
Bill felt Natalie moan under the fingers that spanned her ribcage and he skimmed his hands down her sides, running them firmly around her hips until he gripped her ass through thin denim. He pulled her hard against him, letting her feel the effect she had on him, grinding his hips slowly and rubbing against her.
He wanted to stay in control; knew he had to or he might lose whatever edge he had here. Bill wouldn’t allow himself the groan that grew in his chest, wouldn’t let himself so much as breath deeply. He had to keep her attention on everything he was doing, on everything he was making her feel.
Breaking their kiss, Bill looked down at where his fingers had found the clasp of her jeans and popped them open, lowering the zipper slowly. Natalie’s head fell forward, her forehead resting on his chest, her breath coming in shallow pants. Kissing wetly up her neck, Bill planted a palm on her shoulder and pushed again until her back thumped against the wall behind her. She grunted with the impact and Bill kissed her quickly before meeting her eyes.
A hooded gaze met his, Natalie’s eyes dark and glittering and her lips fell open, swollen and wet. The air stood still around them, heavy with tension and lust and uncertainty, and as Bill locked his eyes with hers, he slipped one hand slowly into the front of her jeans.
Her folds were soft around his fingers, wet and swollen, and he stroked them slowly, spreading her juices over her and over his fingers, straining to be careful, to not slam them up into her. Two fingers worked into the source of her wetness and she gasped, tightening around him as he began thrusting inside her.
Natalie threw her arms around his neck, holding on tightly as her knees seemed to weaken. Bill smirked into her hair, daring to feel almost confident. She groaned into his jacket, her teeth scraping at the leather and she sucked at it, wet sounds completely different from the ones he was causing between her legs.
Bill’s thumb worked her moistened clit in circles and it wasn’t long before it swelled beneath the digit, the nub hardening and stealing the breath from her as her muscles clasped his fingers inside her.
His cock was so hard and he wanted so much to be inside her but this wasn’t about him; this was about giving Natalie what she needed, giving her a reason to stay. It might not be the best reason, but maybe it would make her pause. Maybe it would make her reconsider.
As her wetness rolled down his fingers, pooling shallowly in his palm, Natalie began to contract around his him, her breath hitching, her voice keenly low in his ear. She shuddered and her nails scrabbled at his shoulders and Bill had to hold her up as her knees gave way below her.
He held her there, pushed against the wall with his fingers still inside her. She turned her face away, her lips open, her eyes closed as her breathing returned to normal. Slowly, carefully, Bill withdrew from her. He used his other hand to nudge her chin into turning to face him.
Bill brought his fingers to her lips, smearing her come across her bottom lip until she opened up and he slid his fingers between her lips. Natalie pegged him with her look then, hot and resigned and Bill leaned down, bringing his mouth to hers. He lapped at all the wetness he could, his tongue sliding against his own flesh and meeting her tongue there.
Finally, Bill pulled his fingers from her mouth and she followed them, trying to catch them with her lips again. He smiled, just a curvy pout of his lips, and he fastened her jeans again. When he finished, he caught her gaze.
“Maybe, um…” Natalie started, “I’m just-” She blew out a breath and straightened her tee shirt, pulling it down.
“Yes, baby?” Bill asked, his voice velvet in her ear.
“It’s-” She shook her head and sighed. “Never mind. I’ll, um…I’m going to the bus. I’ll meet you at the next stop.” Natalie stood on her toes and brushed her lips across Bill’s.
She turned and walked quickly toward the backstage exit, and as Bill watched her, he knew he’d won. He knew he’d changed her mind and that she’d stay.
Bill refused to hear the voice inside him that whispered, “…for now.”
Author:
steinsgrrlFandom: Tokio Hotel
Pairing: Bill/Natalie
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I in no way intend to insinuate that any of the below actually happened. It is simply a piece of written entertainment based on the public personas of real people.
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Adult Content
Summary: Natalie knew she had to go; Bill knew he had to make her stay.
Author's Note: Written for the Tokio Hotel Fiction Challenge #1: Flip Flop.
Bill knew something was wrong before he even saw her walking toward him. He knew it by the way she’d pulled away from him lately, by the way she didn’t touch him as much as she used to and the way she closed her eyes when she did touch him. Like she wanted to block him out, block everything out.
He knew it and now she’d found him behind the stage. As soon as she’d found him, pinned him with a look that he couldn’t read, she’d walked toward him, her eyes shifting to the floor in front of her.
The light was dim where they stood behind the stage, and the roadies had long since packed up the instruments and equipment. Bill really should be on the bus by now; he knew the guys would be waiting for him so they could get the hell out of there and on to the next town. She had texted him, though; told him they needed to talk, and this spot was as private as they were going to get.
When she got to him, she stopped and leaned against the wall, her head tilted to rest against the plaster. “Bill.” Her voice was tense, nervous, and Bill’s stomach clenched.
She’d stopped out of arms reach, making him come to her. He didn’t know if that was her plan or if this was some sort of power play, but it didn’t matter. He’d go anywhere she wanted him. He moved closer and leaned against the wall next to her, mirroring her.
“Natalie.” Bill smirked and hoped that he wasn’t right; he hoped that it would only take a smirk and a little humor to fix whatever was wrong, but he had a strong suspicion that it wouldn’t.
She sighed and pushed strands of long, blonde hair behind her ear. She crossed her arms over her chest and he waited for her to speak.
It didn’t take long.
“I can’t do this.” Her gaze rested absently on his belt buckle.
“Can’t do what, Nat?” He couldn’t breathe. He knew what this was, knew it would happen, even with all the hoping and everything he’d done to prevent it; this was inevitable. Bill didn’t want to hear any more, but he couldn’t leave.
“Bill, I can’t do this anymore.” Her whisper was plaintive as she continued. “This isn’t fair. It’s not fair to you, or to me, or to my husband. To my child.”
Bill looked at her then, watching her, hoping for any sign at all that she might not be serious. That she might be persuaded to not do this. He saw nothing like that at all. He saw a beautiful woman with bags under her eyes and her lips pursed. He saw downcast eyes, ringed with dark circles.
She was serious, but no matter the consequences, he couldn’t let her leave.
Bill didn’t think. He didn’t have time for thinking, he only had time to change her mind, and change her mind now. He pushed her shoulder until her back was against the wall.
“Bill-” Natalie started to protest, but she got no further before Bill crushed his lips to hers.
He had to stop her from leaving and this was the only way he knew how. His hands gripped her hips, pushing them against the wall and pulling them to him, as if he didn’t know what to do with them or with her but he couldn’t help but grab her and hold her. Bill’s fingers tightened, his thumbs rubbing across warm skin above the waistline of her jeans and her breath hitched.
She didn’t stop him, didn‘t protest, and he thought that must be a good sign. He thought that must be a sign that she was wrong. She knew she was wrong and she would stay. Why else would she kiss him back?
He pulled away, just far enough to look at her, needing to read her. Lust glinted reluctantly in her eyes, but the blue there was laced with a dark guilt, and he almost let go. He almost let her walk away. He never wanted to hurt her, never wanted to hurt anyone, but his stomach was roiling and aching at just the thought of her leaving, and he knew he couldn‘t just give up. He knew he couldn’t let her walk away. Maybe if he could just make her see, if he could just make her feel him, she would stay. Maybe just for a little while.
“Dammit, let me-” He brought his lips down on hers again, needing to feel her, taste her, but mostly needing to stop those words from coming from her lips. Maybe if she couldn’t say it, she wouldn’t do it. Bill knew he was grasping for any hope he could find, but there was nothing else he could do.
His hands seemed to move of their own accord, pushing up her blouse and under the bottom of her bra, the underwires popping up and over the tops of her breasts. She sighed into his mouth as his palms grazed over hardening nipples and he swiped his thumbs across them, teasing them to attention.
Bill felt Natalie moan under the fingers that spanned her ribcage and he skimmed his hands down her sides, running them firmly around her hips until he gripped her ass through thin denim. He pulled her hard against him, letting her feel the effect she had on him, grinding his hips slowly and rubbing against her.
He wanted to stay in control; knew he had to or he might lose whatever edge he had here. Bill wouldn’t allow himself the groan that grew in his chest, wouldn’t let himself so much as breath deeply. He had to keep her attention on everything he was doing, on everything he was making her feel.
Breaking their kiss, Bill looked down at where his fingers had found the clasp of her jeans and popped them open, lowering the zipper slowly. Natalie’s head fell forward, her forehead resting on his chest, her breath coming in shallow pants. Kissing wetly up her neck, Bill planted a palm on her shoulder and pushed again until her back thumped against the wall behind her. She grunted with the impact and Bill kissed her quickly before meeting her eyes.
A hooded gaze met his, Natalie’s eyes dark and glittering and her lips fell open, swollen and wet. The air stood still around them, heavy with tension and lust and uncertainty, and as Bill locked his eyes with hers, he slipped one hand slowly into the front of her jeans.
Her folds were soft around his fingers, wet and swollen, and he stroked them slowly, spreading her juices over her and over his fingers, straining to be careful, to not slam them up into her. Two fingers worked into the source of her wetness and she gasped, tightening around him as he began thrusting inside her.
Natalie threw her arms around his neck, holding on tightly as her knees seemed to weaken. Bill smirked into her hair, daring to feel almost confident. She groaned into his jacket, her teeth scraping at the leather and she sucked at it, wet sounds completely different from the ones he was causing between her legs.
Bill’s thumb worked her moistened clit in circles and it wasn’t long before it swelled beneath the digit, the nub hardening and stealing the breath from her as her muscles clasped his fingers inside her.
His cock was so hard and he wanted so much to be inside her but this wasn’t about him; this was about giving Natalie what she needed, giving her a reason to stay. It might not be the best reason, but maybe it would make her pause. Maybe it would make her reconsider.
As her wetness rolled down his fingers, pooling shallowly in his palm, Natalie began to contract around his him, her breath hitching, her voice keenly low in his ear. She shuddered and her nails scrabbled at his shoulders and Bill had to hold her up as her knees gave way below her.
He held her there, pushed against the wall with his fingers still inside her. She turned her face away, her lips open, her eyes closed as her breathing returned to normal. Slowly, carefully, Bill withdrew from her. He used his other hand to nudge her chin into turning to face him.
Bill brought his fingers to her lips, smearing her come across her bottom lip until she opened up and he slid his fingers between her lips. Natalie pegged him with her look then, hot and resigned and Bill leaned down, bringing his mouth to hers. He lapped at all the wetness he could, his tongue sliding against his own flesh and meeting her tongue there.
Finally, Bill pulled his fingers from her mouth and she followed them, trying to catch them with her lips again. He smiled, just a curvy pout of his lips, and he fastened her jeans again. When he finished, he caught her gaze.
“Maybe, um…” Natalie started, “I’m just-” She blew out a breath and straightened her tee shirt, pulling it down.
“Yes, baby?” Bill asked, his voice velvet in her ear.
“It’s-” She shook her head and sighed. “Never mind. I’ll, um…I’m going to the bus. I’ll meet you at the next stop.” Natalie stood on her toes and brushed her lips across Bill’s.
She turned and walked quickly toward the backstage exit, and as Bill watched her, he knew he’d won. He knew he’d changed her mind and that she’d stay.
Bill refused to hear the voice inside him that whispered, “…for now.”
