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Janni



Title: Janni
Author: [livejournal.com profile] steinsgrrl
Fandom: Tokio Hotel
Pairing: Tom/Bill
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I in no way intend to insinuate that any of the below actually happened. It is simply a piece of written entertainment based on the public personas of real people.
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Twincest-not related, Adult Concepts, Light Kink
Summary: When two men meet and fall in love, they expect there will be bumps in the road. When one of those men has a daughter, some bumps can seem more like mountains.
Author's Note: Thank you so much to [livejournal.com profile] ma_chelle for the beta. You are invaluable. Lovely banner by [livejournal.com profile] lynnchan.



“Hey.” Tom smiled into the phone, despite the early hour. Normally he’d be up already, because it was pretty difficult to sleep late with Janni climbing onto the bed with him and chattering at him, poking at his eyes and playing with his dreadlocks. He glanced blurrily at the clock and realized Janni must have slept in. “How are you?”

“Better, now that I get to hear your voice.” Tom snuggled down into his blankets, taking the cell with him and pressing it harder to his ear. They hadn’t been able to get together all week, but Bill had called Tom nearly every night and they’d talked until their eyes drooped from exhaustion. “I didn’t mean to wake you, though. I have horrible timing.”

“I don’t mind.” Tom thought he shouldn’t mention that he loved it when Bill called. He still had some dignity left. Even if it was just a little.

”Good.” Tom could hear the smile in Bill’s voice and he pictured him so clearly that it made his belly clench. He skimmed his palm down his hip and over his boxers, loving the intimacy of lying in bed and hearing Bill’s voice. Tom’s mind began to wander to a different scenario, perhaps a future scenario, and even though he felt that it might be a little wrong because it was so early in their relationship, he let his fingers trail across the waistband of his boxers, dipping his fingers just under the elastic. ”I thought maybe you and I and Janni could do something this afternoon.”

Tom moved the mouthpiece away from him and blew out a deep breath. Bill’s mention of Janni killed that thought. “Yeah? What did you have in mind?”

”Actually, I was kind of hoping that you could help me out with that,” Bill said, sheepishly. “I want to see you, and I’m hoping to get to know Janni better, but I don’t exactly know how to do that.”

Tom grinned so hard that his cheeks hurt. Bill wanted to see him. That, alone, was a great start to Tom’s day, but he also wanted to get to know Janni. That wasn’t something he’d been expecting of Bill yet, if ever, really, because he still wasn’t sure how far this relationship was going to go, and he couldn’t hold the excitement back in his voice when he responded, “I have the perfect idea.”

~~~


“Janni.” Tom whispered, sitting on the side of her bed. He picked up a piece of her hair and tickled her nose with it. “Hey, wake up.”

Janni, eyes firmly shut, batted at the hair, then Tom’s hand. “Daddy, quit. I’m sleeping.” She started to turn over, away from Tom, but he held her in place. She whined a little and tried harder.

“Hey, Bill called.” Janni’s eyes blinked open and she looked up at him hazily. “He wants to take us to have a picnic in the park.” Janni rubbed her eyes and sat up. “You up for that?” Tom asked.

Janni was already scrambling off the bed and yanking her dresser drawers open, digging through them and tossing clothes onto the floor.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Tom chuckled, getting up and heading to the door of her room. “Pick up what you decide not to wear and put them back in your drawer.”

“Okay,” Janni answered, obviously distracted by her task.

While Janni got dressed, Tom went to the kitchen to find a small breakfast for him and Janni. Getting up so late, they’d pretty much missed breakfast, but he thought it would be a little while before Bill would be here and he couldn’t let Janni go without eating until they got to the park. They still had a few ripe bananas left, and he separated two from the bunch, carrying both to the table with two small glasses of milk.

Janni bounced down the stairs with a brush and hair ties just as Tom sat down at the table. “Daddy, will you put my hair in a french braid?”

Tom laughed. “Little girl, what makes you think I know how to do a french braid?” He pulled the peel down on his banana and took a bite.

“But Ashley in my class has one all the time and she said her daddy does it for her.” Janni stood in front of him and thrust the brush toward him, her eyes pleading.

“But I don’t know how to do that. Can we put pigtails in, instead? I know how to do those.” Tom put his banana down and held his hand out for the brush.

Janni sighed and handed him the brush and hair ties. “Okay.”

Tom brushed her hair carefully, working all the sleep snarls out and separating the strands to both sides of her head. Just as he was getting the second side secured in the pigtail, there was a knock at the door.

Janni pulled away from Tom’s hands, still adjusting her pigtail, and ran to the door, throwing it open to a smiling Bill on the other side.

“Hi, Bill!” Janni chirped. Before Bill could even say hello, she was chattering on, twirling in front of him, making her pigtails swing around her. “Look at my pigtails that Daddy put in for me! I wanted a french braid, but Daddy didn’t know how to do one of those.”

Bill couldn’t help but grin at her enthusiasm. “I know how.”

Janni stopped swinging her hair and stared up at him. “You do? Will you do mine?” Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed Bill’s hand and started tugging him toward the dining room. Tom stood in the archway between, leaning his shoulder against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Hi.” Tom thought Bill’s smile must be contagious as he felt his lips curve.

“Hi.” Bill always thought he remembered how gorgeous Tom was, but he was still taken aback each time he saw him. He appealed to Bill fashion sense, having an actual style, which was something he didn’t see a lot of outside of the big city, but beyond that, the man veritably glowed. And he couldn’t get over those eyes, his lashes were so long--

“Daddy, can Bill give me a french braid? He knows how!” Janni tugged at Bill’s hand, making him look down at her again.

Tom raised a brow at Bill, who shrugged at him. “I had a girlfriend in high school that showed me how.”

Bill thought Tom hid his surprise well, his eyes widening only slightly. “A girlfriend, huh?”

“Yeah. She um, helped me confirm what I already knew,” Bill replied, chagrined. “We parted good friends.”

“Daddy!” Janni was nearly vibrating between them.

Stifling a chuckle, Tom replied, “Only if Bill wants to do it.”

“Please?” Janni handed Bill the brush.

“Let’s go sit down.” Bill got Janni situated in a chair and stood behind her, taking out her pigtails, brushing through her hair and making a quick and snug weave of her golden strands.

“I’m impressed!” Tom had sat watching the whole procedure. “But I still don’t get it.”

Bill handed Janni her brush. “That’s okay, I’ll show you sometime.” He glanced at the half-eaten banana and the milk on the table. “Are we ready?”

“Yeah.” While Janni ran to get her shoes on, Tom cleared the table, putting the milk in the refrigerator and the uneaten banana back on the counter. He handed the half-eaten one to Janni as she ran out the door, picked up the blanket he’d set out for their picnic, and followed Bill to his car.

~~~

“Where should we get this stuff set up?” They stood at the edge of the park, Bill holding the basket that he’d packed for their picnic.

“Over there looks good.” Tom pointed to an area not far from the playground equipment, but far enough away that he thought they might have a chance to talk without being interrupted by too much screaming.

Janni ran in circles around them, hyper and ready to run. “Daddy, can I go play?” She ran around them again. “Madison and Becca are here!”

Tom laughed, telling her to go, but that they’d call her for food before too long. Janni squealed and ran at top speed toward the swings, where two little girls about Janni’s age were already pumping their legs hard and flying through the air.

“Is she always this…excited?” Bill asked as they got to the spot Tom had chosen.

Tom laid out the blanket and took the basket from Bill. “Not usually, no. I think she’s just happy to be able to come to the park again. We were just here a couple days ago and she usually doesn’t get to come so often.”

“Ah.” Bill settled on the blanket next to Tom, the basket between them at their feet. “Are you ready to eat yet?”

“No, not really. Unless you are.” Tom stole a glance at Bill, who happened to have his eyes locked on Tom. “Do you want to?”

Tom was trying so hard, and Bill knew it. Little things he said gave away his insecurities, and while some guys might find that annoying, Bill found it adorable. He knew that Tom was interested in seeing where this relationship would go, in finding out what they might mean to each other, and it made Bill want to work harder for him. It made Bill want to treat him so right, so tenderly; to spoil him.

“No, I can wait a while.” Bill smiled and took his boots off, scooting closer to Tom and tucking his legs under himself.

They watched the children play for a while, just soaking up the sun and listening to the sounds around them, until Bill pulled a sketch pad and a packet of pencils out of the basket.

“Do you mind? I had a thought.” Bill held the pencils up.

“No, go ahead.” Tom lay on his side, propping himself on his elbow. “It’s funny, though; even when you’re not working, you’re working.”

Bill cocked his head, his eyes still trained on the pad in front of him, the dark charcoal pencil moving in smooth lines over the page. “I suppose you’re right. Sometimes I think there aren’t enough hours in the day to do all the things I want to do.”

“You’re a workaholic?” Tom plucked a piece of grass from the edge of the blanket.

“Yes and no. I mean,” Bill found his eraser and made a small correction, “I don’t want to work all the time, really. And I guess I don’t; I just get ideas and need to get them down before I forget.”

“Ah, that I can see. I’m sort of the same way with the covers and ads I’m commissioned to do. I try to keep a set time at my computer, though, so I can spend enough time with Janni.” Tom glanced up at the swing set, where Janni was being pushed by a bigger girl in a spring dress.

Bill hummed in response, almost finished with enough of the sketch to remind him of what he was going for that he can easily fill in the rest later. He finished up the final strokes and set the pad and pencils aside. Tom had lain on his back, his arms folded under his head, and was watching the clouds when Bill turned to him, scooting closer still.

Propping himself on his elbow, Bill pulled another long piece of grass and trailed it lightly over Tom’s arms, enjoying the smile it brought. “It must be tough being a single parent.”

“Yeah. But it’s never been any other way.” Tom shot a glance at Bill before looking back up at the sky. “When Nikki was alive, she wasn’t around much.”

Bill nodded. He’d gotten that impression before from Tom, but he didn’t think it was his place to ask about Tom’s former wife and why she couldn’t have been there for her husband and child. It wouldn’t be right to think ill of the dead but he couldn’t help but wonder what could have possibly been more important than this man or their beautiful daughter.

“I’m glad you asked us out today. I wasn’t expecting that.” Tom changed the subject, and Bill thought that might be for the best.

“Yeah? Why not?” Bill tickled the side of Tom’s neck with the blade of grass and Tom giggled, scrunching his ear to his shoulder. Bill laughed along with him. “So cute.”

Tom didn’t even have time to think about it. He grasped Bill’s hand, pulling him down until Bill hovered just over him. “Cute, huh?” he whispered, “I’ll show you cute.”

Tom released his hand, only to slowly bring his fingers to Bill’s chin, touching him so softly, just nudging him closer. Bill’s breath caught at Tom’s touch and he could have had a steel grip on Bill’s neck, for all Bill could have resisted him then.

Their lips brushed and pressed together and Bill was acutely aware of everything; of Tom’s hand, of the hardness of Tom’s stomach, where Bill had rested his hand to keep from falling on top of the man below him, of breathing Tom’s breath into himself and how he smelled like banana. He was very aware of how much he wanted this, how much he wanted him, and the urge to ravage Tom right there, on a blanket in the park, with the sun shining down so warmly on them, was almost too much to resist.

A childish squeal came from the playground and Bill stilled their kiss, pulling back just slightly. “Does Janni know?”

Tom groaned a little in protest of losing the kiss. “Does Janni know what?” He looked up at Bill as if in a daze, his eyes dark with desire, and licked his lips.

Bill’s belly clenched and his groin tightened further but he pushed aside the feeling quickly. “Does Janni know about this? Us?”

Tom’s eyes widened. “Us? No! No, she doesn’t. I haven’t told her yet.”

Bill sat up and moved away from Tom, putting some space between them. “Maybe you want to tell her before she sees something like that?” He struggled to get his breathing, and his groin, under control.

“Yes, of course. I meant to, I just…” Tom sat up and adjusted his bandana, straightening it.

“It’s okay. You have to do it in your own time.” Bill pulled the picnic basket toward them and opened the top. “Maybe we should eat; take our minds off…things.”

“Yeah. “ Tom said, shakily, “Yeah, good idea. I’ll just call Janni.” Tom got up and smoothed down his shirts, thankful that they were long enough to cover the bulge in his jeans, something he certainly didn’t want to explain to his daughter right now.

Bill unpacked the basket while Tom told Janni to come eat, giving her and her friends one last spin on the carousel before coming back to join Bill on the blanket. As soon as he sat down and saw what Bill had brought, Tom’s stomach sank. He didn’t know quite what all this was, but he was pretty sure that no self-respecting five year old was going to eat it. It all looked really good, though, and he wanted to think that she would at least try a few bites of everything.

Shooting a look back at the playground, where Janni was chasing her friend around the carousel, he realized there were going to be hurt feelings no matter how this played out. He decided that it would be better for Bill to get ready for the possibility that Janni might balk at eating what he’d brought, than for Tom to have to fight with Janni over eating, have her throw a fit and all of them be unhappy.

Tom peeked under the plastic wrap of one of the dishes. “What did you pack?”

“Those are asparagus wraps, and these are smoked salmon sandwiches.” He pulled back the wrap on a plate stacked with tiny finger sandwiches. “I had Max make this dish that I had in New York once, rolled beef with artichoke stuffing. Though I guess that’s really more like an appetizer. And for dessert, the most amazing chocolate raspberry tarts.”

Bill looked so eager and proud of himself that Tom wavered, deciding finally that Janni was going to have to suck it up, follow the rules and try the new food. There was no way he could let Bill feel bad about going to all this trouble for nothing.

But when Tom didn’t react right away, didn’t say anything to Bill’s spiel of goodies he’d brought, Bill’s smile faltered. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Oh god, don’t take this the wrong way.” Tom wanted to dig a hole and crawl into it. “I just don’t…” he peeled the wrap back from the rolled beef, the fragrant meat and tangy artichoke scent wafting up to him. “Wow, that smells good. But Bill, I don’t know that Janni will eat this.” Tom winced at him, waiting for Bill’s reaction.

Bill deflated.

“She won’t?”

“Oh, I think she’ll love the chocolate raspberry tarts, but I haven’t been able to get her to eat more than one bite at a time of asparagus yet. And the only fish she eats are fish sticks and tuna. But,” Tom added hastily, “I’ll have her try a bite of everything. That’s the rule. Just be prepared that she might not like it. “He reached out and squeezed Bill’s elbow, “It’s not you at all. It’s a kid thing, I think.”

Tom could almost see Bill resign himself, however unhappily, to the idea that Janni might not like what he’d brought. “Okay. Is she coming?”

Blowing out a sigh of relief, Tom stood up and whistled for Janni. Her head popped around the slide and he waved her over.

In the end, Tom was only partially right. Janni did like the chocolate raspberry tarts, of course, but she loved the asparagus wraps and the beef rolls. Tom had decided not to tell her what they were, telling her she would love them before she tried them, and she ended up eating two of each and a tart before she ran back to her friends, carefully carrying a tart for both of them.

Some time later, as Tom finished packing up the last of the leftovers, he finished the last of his soda and shook his head. “I think she loves to make a liar out of me.”

Bill chuckled, watching Janni on the swings again. “Don’t worry about it.”

“No, I feel kind of stupid, telling you all that, and then she snarfs it up like she hasn’t eaten for days.” Tom finally sat and crossed his legs, leaning on his palms behind him.

Bill kneeled beside him, so close that his knees brushed Tom’s thigh. “Tom,” Bill leaned down to him and he brushed the dreads off Tom’s shoulder, “it seems to me that since I don’t have much experience with children, maybe there are some things I wouldn’t know, right?”

The closer Bill came, the more trouble Tom seemed to have catching his breath. Now that he’d tasted those lips, he wanted more. He wanted a real kiss, he wanted to feel Bill open up to him and really taste him. Something niggled in the back of his mind that maybe this wasn’t a good idea just yet, that he should pull away, but with Bill’s scent all around him and Bill looking at him like that, he could barely think, let alone pull away.

“I like you,” Bill breathed across his lips and the world around them faded, “a lot. So teach me?”

Tom groaned into Bill’s lips, just ghosting over his, “Anything.”

Bill ran just the wet tip of his tongue against Tom’s bottom lip and Tom lost what little control he had left. Wrapping his hand around the back of Bill’s neck, weaving his fingers through his long, soft hair, he opened his lips and really kissed him. He nibbled on Bill’s plump lips, flicking his tongue where his teeth had just been and then delved further, tasting as much of Bill as he could. Just as Bill cupped his palm over Tom’s cheek, a small voice came from above them.

“Daddy?”

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