Janni, NC17, Tom/Bill, 10/?

[steins_stories]

Title: Janni
Author: steinsgrrl
Fandom: Tokio Hotel
Pairing: Tom/Bill
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I in no way intend to insinuate that any of the below actually happened. It is simply a piece of written entertainment based on the public personas of real people.
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Twincest-not related, Adult Concepts, Light Kink
Summary: When two men meet and fall in love, they expect there will be bumps in the road. When one of those men has a daughter, some bumps can seem more like mountains.
Author's Note: Thank you so much to ma_chelle for the beta. You are invaluable. Lovely banner by lynnchan.


As the sweat began to cool on Tom’s chest, chilling him, Bill moved his hand carefully, laying Tom’s spent cock against his belly. His breath was still coming in pants and Tom was trying to make his brain work enough to figure out what to say to Bill without sounding stupid.

But then, Bill trailed a finger through Tom’s come and closing his eyes, sucked it wetly between his lips. Tom stared, entranced, and then he knew exactly what to say. He popped the finger out of Bill’s mouth and kissed him deeply, tasting himself on Bill’s tongue before murmuring against his lips, “Stay with me tonight.”

Bill’s insides twisted at Tom’s words and he pulled back, searching Tom’s eyes. Bill knew that he wanted this; he wanted to stay with Tom and feel Tom against him and dear god, feel Tom inside of him, but the rational part of him, the part that wasn’t still thinking about licking Tom’s come off his tan, moist skin, told him that maybe they should slow the hell down. Maybe Tom wasn’t ready for this--all of this and all of him. “You’re sure? This is what you want?”

But there was no hesitance in Tom’s eyes tonight. Tom looked at him, eyes dark with so much want and need and please and Bill could barely say anything to that, let alone ‘no.’ Tom touched Bill’s face with trembling fingers, cupping his cheek and running his thumb over Bill’s lips. His voice was low and barely sounded like Tom at all when he whispered, “Yes. Please, yes.”

Bill stood, pulling his shirt down, very aware that his cock was bulging in his jeans and Tom looked up at him with a mixture of hope and fear, the fear only draining from his eyes when Bill held his hand out for Tom to take. Fastening his jeans, Tom breathed out an audible sigh of relief and took the offered hand.

Tom found his shirt and made a quick swipe across his belly, mopping up the rest of his come before Bill tugged gently at his hand. It didn’t take them long to wander through the house, turning off lights and locking doors, and hand in hand, they climbed the stairs to the bedroom. Bill had never been up here before and the room felt cozy and warm like Tom and he shut the door behind them. He wasn’t particularly nervous; he knew what to do, but Tom was obviously nervous enough for both of them. He was sitting on the bed, fidgeting with the folds of his pants and watching Bill intently.

Bill turned on the lamp by the bed before coming back to stand in front of him. “Hey.” He brushed the dreads back from Tom’s face and watched a few locks wiggle off his shoulders to fall down Tom’s back. Tom lifted his face to him, closing his eyes and humming. “We should just,” he bent to kiss Tom quickly, his lips full and soft, “take this slow. Okay?”

Tom nodded beneath Bill’s hands and he plucked at the hem of Bill’s tee shirt, lifting it as if to take it off, but Bill pushed it back down. “Before we do that, I…I need to talk to you about this.” Bill kneeled down and settled himself between Tom’s legs. His hands found Tom’s hips and he clasped them tightly, as if his grip could convey how serious he was about this.

“Talk about…?” Tom was starting to look more scared than nervous and that was the last thing Bill wanted. “Bill, if you don’t want to, we don’t—“ Tom looked away, his face flushing.

“Tom.” Bill leaned in, trying to catch Tom’s eye. “It’s not that. God, it’s so not…” Bill took a breath and let it out slowly. “This is new for you.”

“And?” Tom asked, almost defensively, and Bill cringed.

He groaned in frustration and pulled Tom’s hips closer, his chest flush against his bare stomach, and rested his forehead against Tom’s shoulder. “This is coming out wrong. Now I’m the one who can’t speak.”

Tom’s heart thumped hard beneath his head and he felt strong hands brush his hair carefully from the side of his neck, the fingertips barely touching him and sending chills down his back. He sucked in a breath when Tom leaned down, his lips moving against the shell of Bill’s ear. “Then just for right now, Bill,” Tom snaked the tip of his tongue out and ran it just under the bottom side of Bill’s earlobe, “stop talking,” he whispered.

If Bill hadn’t been aware that it was possible for his cock to get harder, he was aware now. He growled and turned his head, mashing his lips into Tom’s and sucking hard on Tom’s lip and the tugging in his belly grew taut. Tom grabbed the hem of his shirt again and pulled it quickly over Bill’s head, neither of them wanting to break their kiss for long.

Tom’s hands were gentle and exploring, from Bill’s graceful neck, sweeping slowly down his chest to span his flat belly before caressing his fingers up to his nipples. Rough thumb pads circled them, running over the tips, and Bill moaned into his mouth, reaching again for the clasp of Tom’s jeans. Tom kissed his way down to where his thumb played, his lips soft and open and Bill felt his hands tremble as he toyed with the clasp of Bill’s jeans. He wanted to help him, he really did, but Tom was licking around his nipple, making it so hard that it almost hurt and somehow felt so damn good at the same time. Bill was finding it hard to even think about what he was supposed to do now, let alone help Tom. And then Tom’s teeth scraped where his tongue had been and Bill didn’t have to think anymore. It was like instinct to get their clothes off, and if he’d popped the button of Tom’s jeans just then, he wouldn’t have known it at all.

It wasn’t long before their clothes were in a pile on the floor, as tangled together as their owners longed to be, and Bill and Tom climbed onto the bed quickly. There had been just too much time between the last article of clothing hitting the floor and them touching again. Even seconds seemed much too long, and when they finally came together again, finally touched again, heated skin sliding silkily against heated skin, Tom whimpered against Bill’s shoulder and grabbed Bill’s slim hips, pulling them hard against each other.

The friction was so good, Tom’s cock sliding against his, and Bill felt like he could barely breath. All he could do was feel and want and he rolled them over, lying on Tom and thrusting carefully.

Tom’s heart pounded hard in his chest, his muscles straining as he recklessly returned Bill’s thrusts. The thought that he couldn’t believe he was finally doing this flew from his head as his belly clenched hard and he spread his legs, letting Bill settled between them. His breath panted in Tom’s ear as his teeth grazed over Tom’s neck, tongue laving and tasting and Tom knew this wasn’t going to last nearly as long as he wanted, as he needed.

“Tom,” Bill groaned, his voice raw and desperate against Tom’s neck, “baby, are you close?”

Tom wriggled and pushed Bill up until he was propped on his arms, hovering over him so Tom could see his face and the look in Bill’s eyes nearly threw him over the edge. They were so dark, so intent, caressing Tom everywhere they roamed; over Tom’s face, Tom’s body, and the fire in his belly flamed higher.

“God, kiss me.” Tom panted, every part of him taut as he pulled Bill down to him. Black hair framed Tom’s face and tickled his cheeks, blocking out the light as their lips connected hotly, sloppily. Tom breathed deeply, the scent of their arousal and mingled sweat filling his senses, and as he thrust up hard against Bill’s slick belly and hard cock, as he sucked Bill’s tongue between his lips, he came. He came so hard that his toes curled and he wrapped his legs around Bill’s, pulling his thin hips into his own until Bill whispered Tom’s name brokenly into his mouth and came between them.

Their kiss became soft, slowing as their breathing slowed, and Bill cradled Tom’s head in his hands as Tom ran his fingers reflexively up and down Bill’s sides.

“I should get off of you.” Bill nuzzled into Tom’s neck, nosing into the soft, unlocked hair there.

“You don’t have to.” Tom held Bill’s hips in place, not quite ready to give up the warmth and the weight of Bill on him. “You feel good up there.”

Bill hummed in kisses against Tom’s shoulder. “We’re sticky.” He shifted and pulled himself away. “Where are the towels?”

“The door at the end of the hall.” Tom pointed in the general direction of the bathroom and watched Bill walk away.

He was back in no time with a soft, moist, terry cloth towel, and he gently cleaned Tom’s belly before wiping up his own. Dropping the towel on the floor, he turned to lie back with Tom and found arms open and waiting for him. He snuggled down into them as Tom wrapped strong arms around his waist and laid his cheek on Tom’s shoulder.

The silence stretched out between them until Tom couldn’t take it any longer. He had to know what Bill was thinking, had to know what he thought of what they did. “Was it…was that okay?”

“Okay?” Bill murmured, his body relaxed and boneless.

“Yeah, I mean…” Tom cleared his throat, “was it good?” Bill propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at him and Tom wished they hadn’t left the light on.

“It was good, Tom. How can you doubt that after having the evidence all over your skin?” He smiled and kissed the middle of Tom’s chest.

“But,” Tom started, brushing Bill’s hair out of his face, “why didn’t we…?” Tom face felt flushed and he couldn’t believe he was getting all bashful when he’d just come all over this man.

“Why didn’t we what?” Bill asked, confused before he noticed the color in Tom’s cheeks. “Oh. Why didn’t we…why was there no penetration?”

Tom nodded. “Yeah.”

Bill trailed his fingers down Tom’s belly, smiling when goosebumped flesh twitched under his touch. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about before we…um, got a little carried away.” Bill smiled but continued, “I think we should wait a little while on that.”

Tom’s brows furrowed together; now he was confused. “But don’t you want that?” He grabbed Bill’s hand and held the palm flush against his skin.

Bill kissed him softly and deeply, just for a moment. “You have no idea how much I want you inside me, Tom.”

Bill’s words made his belly flip and his cock stir, and his teeth nipped at Bill’s chin. “I want that, too.”

“But,” Bill continued, “I want us to be safe. I know that sounds cliché, but I do. Before we do that, I want us to get tested.”

Tom smiled shyly, “I didn’t expect that we would…um, do this tonight, so I don’t have any, but why don’t we use condoms?”

Bill turned his palm up and squeezed Tom’s hand. “We could. Or we could take the test, wait to be sure we’re both clean, and make love with no barriers between us. Would you rather not wait?”

“I haven’t been with anyone in years; I’ve got to be clean.” Tom looked up at him, all playfulness put aside.

“Were you tested six months after the last time?”

Tom shook his head. “No, I guess I…well, I didn’t think about it.”

Bill nodded. “I think straight people think about it less. I don’t know for sure, but I think so. They don’t usually have to watch half their friends die off.”

“God, Bill.” Tom winced and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger.

“It hurts; it’s horrible, and I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to you.” Bill pulled Tom’s hand from his eyes and smoothed his fingers over the lids, soothing them before cupping Tom’s cheek. “I couldn’t live with Janni losing her father.”

Tom froze at Bill’s words. “No, no; you’re right. You don’t have to convince me; of course, I’ll do it. We’ll make the appointment on Monday and go together?”

“Yeah, we both should get tested.” Bill said, hesitantly, looking away before turning off the light and lying in Tom’s arms again. “The last time I was in New York, I—“

Tom quickly pressed a finger to Bill’s swollen lips. “I actually don’t need to know that. Just…” he kissed the top of Bill’s head. “We’ll do it together.”

Bill rubbed his lips against the soft skin of Tom’s chest and inhaled his scent, the heaviness of the night’s emotions settling in his belly. He cared more about Tom than even he’d realized and he wondered if it would scare Tom to know how much. He fell asleep there, in his lover’s arms, with three words on his mind, three words on the tip of his tongue.


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