Janni, NC17, Tom/Bill, 12/?

[steins_stories]

Title: Janni
Author: steinsgrrl
Fandom: Tokio Hotel
Pairing: Tom/Bill
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I in no way intend to insinuate that any of the below actually happened. It is simply a piece of written entertainment based on the public personas of real people.
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Twincest-not related, Adult Concepts, Light Kink
Summary: When two men meet and fall in love, they expect there will be bumps in the road. When one of those men has a daughter, some bumps can seem more like mountains.
Author's Note: Thank you so much to ma_chelle for the beta. You are invaluable. Lovely banner by lynnchan.


Tom loved this time with Janni. He loved putting her to bed and tucking her in and giving her Brownie to cuddle with and hold while she fell asleep. He hated to think of the time when he wouldn’t be able to do this anymore, that she would just get too old to want her old dad to come tuck her in at night. He hoped that would be a long time coming.

“So who was the monster at the end of the book?” Tom held the picture on the last page up for Janni to see again.

Janni giggled. “It’s Grover!” She furrowed her brows at the page in front of her. “Wait, he’s a nice monster, though.”

“Like you?” Tom’s lips twitched as he tried to hold back his grin.

“I’m not a monster!” Janni protested.

Tom laughed and closed the book, putting it away on the shelf by Janni’s bed. “I don’t know, little girl. Sometimes you’re a monster. But you’re a little pink monster, not big and blue like Grover.”

“I don’t like pink. I don’t want to be a pink monster.” Janni huffed.

“What? I thought you liked pink.” Tom tickled a finger under her chin and she grabbed his hand, holding on to it.

“Nope!” She stuck her nose in the air. “I want to be a purple monster!”

“Purple! But purple is like blue with a sunburn. Do you want to be blue with a sunburn?” Tom cocked a brow at her, smirking.

Janni looked confused. “Try it tomorrow,” Tom said. “I bet that when you color with a blue crayon then a red one over that one, you get purple. And a sunburn is red, right? So purple is like blue with a sunburn.”

“I don’t know,” Janni said, doubtfully.

“You just try it tomorrow and tell me if I’m right.” Tom dropped a kiss on her nose and gathered her up in a tight hug that made them both grunt. “Okay, you get some sleep.” He started to get up, but Janni called him back.

“Daddy?” She had snuggled into the blankets and peeked up at him over the top of the sheet. “If Bill sleeps with you, is he going to live here now? Like a real mommy and daddy, only a daddy and daddy?”

Tom sat back down on her bed with a sigh. He and Bill had talked to Janni when they got home, about what she had said in the store. They’d told her that they weren’t mad at her, but she can’t talk in public about who her daddy sleeps with. Tom knew she didn’t mean anything bad by it, but it just wasn’t appropriate. And then they’d finished their game of Candyland and had dessert.

“Honey, I don’t know if we’re ready to do that. I care very much about Bill but we might take a little more time to see how things work out before we take a big step like that.” Tom spoke to her solemnly. “Why? Would you like it if that happened someday?”

Janni seemed to think for a moment before nodding. “Uh huh. Bill could live with us and I could have a French braid every day!”

Tom rolled his eyes. “Is that the only reason?”

Janni thought a moment more. “Nope. He cooks good, too. And he’s nice. Do you think he’d read me a book if he lived with us?”

Tom chuckled. “I would say he probably would. But that might not be for a little while yet, okay?” He stood up again and left her with a smacking kiss to the forehead. “But listen, little girl, we’re going to the park again tomorrow, and if you want to be all ready to play, you need to get your sleep.”

Janni grinned but turned over, squeezing her eyelids together tightly and hugging Brownie to her, “’Kay. ‘Night, Daddy.”

Tom turned from the doorway, his hand on the knob. “’Night, Janni.”

After turning on the bathroom light, Tom came down the stairs to find Bill standing by the stereo, flipping through Tom’s cds. He didn’t turn when Tom came up behind him.

“Looking for anything in particular?” Tom asked over Bill’s shoulder as he slid his arms around his waist. Bill jumped, startled, and sighed back into Tom’s arms. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” He chuckled softly. “Want something to drink?”

“Mhm, just water, please?” Bill plucked a cd out from the stack with relish. “This! I haven’t heard this in so long!”

Tom peered at the cover. “Oh, god.” He dropped his forehead against Bill’s shoulder. “I can’t believe I still have that.”

“What’s wrong with it?” Bill turned and held the cover in front of him. “Don’t tell me you’re one of those music elitists that think this stuff isn’t cool!” Bill squinted at him, waiting for an answer.

“Well, um…” Tom stammered, “It’s not that they aren’t cool, which you know, they aren’t.” Tom took the cd case from Bill and opened it before closing it again. “But I have this because Georg, Gustav and I did a parody of them in the talent show our senior year. We had to have the cd to listen to the music because I couldn’t find the sheet music for it.”

“Really.” Bill cocked his head. “But there are only two guys in this band. There were three of you.”

“Uh-huh. Georg and Gustav sang, I played guitar for them.” Tom handed the cd back to Bill and headed toward the kitchen. He came out moments later with two bottles of sparkling water and Bill’s cigarettes. “We’ll go outside later?”

Bill nodded and put the cd in the stereo. “I didn’t know Georg and Gustav could sing.”

“They can’t.” He winced. “We didn’t win. Now we just say it was a parody; it makes us feel better.” Bill snorted as Tom put the waters on the coffee table and they settled on the couch, Tom sitting at the end and Bill leaning back against him, their long legs curved together over the plush cushions. A song started, a soaring melody weaving around them and a man began to sing about being lost in love and he don’t know much, and Tom hugged Bill to him, pressing his chest firmly into Bill’s back, feeling him breathe under lightly caressing fingers.

“Hey,” Tom says quietly, close to Bill’s ear, “I want to thank you for being so patient with Janni. I want you to know it means a lot to me.”

Bill wrapped his fingers around Tom’s wrists and pulled his arms tighter around him. “I’m doing my best. Sometimes I don’t know what to do or say, though.”

“You’re doing fine. More than fine. You’re great with her and she thinks you’re amazing. The best French braid do-er ever!” Tom chuckled and nosed Bill’s hair aside, kissing the side of his neck, earning a sharp intake of breath.

“I’m glad.” With his eyes closed, he saw the smile on Bill’s face that he heard in his voice. “I like her a lot, too. She so damn cute. And polite. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a child that polite.”

“Hm, well, she’s certainly not polite all the time. Partner.” Tom said, chagrined.

“Oh, the grocery store.” Bill winced. “But that’s taken care of, right?”

Tom hummed in response and rested his temple against Bill’s hair and they sat quietly, listening to the song on the stereo, each lost in their thoughts.

“I love being like this with you,” Tom whispered. “Every day, I look forward to seeing you, to talking to you.” He ran a hand down Bill’s belly. “To touching you. I find myself losing track of what I’m doing because I’m thinking about you.”

Bill leaned his head back, resting lightly on Tom’s shoulder. “I’m the same way. I’m so busy thinking about the next time I see you that I forget I already brought someone ketchup and I bring them more. Sometimes I don’t even notice when I put it down right next to the first bottle,” he groaned, embarrassed.

“Is this…” Tom’s whisper broke and he had to start over. “I think maybe this is what love is.” His stomach roiled just letting the words slip from his lips. He wasn’t taking for granted that just because Bill didn’t object to Tom calling him his partner, Bill might feel the same way about him. Wasn’t it really too soon for that?

Bill shifted, turning in Tom’s arms, his voice as soft as his dark eyes. “You think what you feel for me is love?”

Tom licked his lips and nodded, holding his breath.

“Good.” Bill smiled, snaking an arm around Tom’s neck and weaving his fingers into the dreads there.

“Good?” Tom held Bill’s arm and searched his eyes. “That’s it? Good?”

Bill chuckled under his breath. “You didn’t let me finish.” He brought his lips to Tom’s slowly, his eyes hooded and Tom watched them until they fluttered closed. Bill’s lips were soft, giving and Tom wanted to open them and dip inside but Bill pulled back, his eyes opening slowly. “It’s love, Tom. It has to be, if it’s anything like what I feel for you.”

Tom clutched the back of Bill’s head and pulled him down, kissing him hard until they were breathless and weak and hard, and Tom thought his heart might burst right out of his chest. He broke their kiss, panting and feeling like everything was just right. “I love you,” he said. His words felt so full, they almost caught in his throat. “I love you,” he repeated, a smile growing on his lips as he held Bill tightly.

Bill laughed in his arms, his joy radiant on his face as he kissed Tom again and again. “I love you, too, baby,” he breathed between kisses.

~~~

“Really? Already?” Georg finished tying the laces of his sneaker and moved to tie the other one. “Isn’t it a bit early to be declaring your undying love?”

Tom adjusted his hat, pulled his hair tie tighter, and set the basketball between his legs, squatting down to sit on it. “Don’t you think I thought of that? This hit me way out of left field.”

“Maybe you just got caught up in the moment. It happens to the best of us, you know. Get busy with some girl and say things that you regret later.” Georg glanced over at Gustav, who had just slipped on his sneakers. “God, you’re slow. Move it, man!”

“Shut up!” Gustav threw his towel and Georg snorted when it smacked him in the back of the head. “Ass.”

“I don’t regret it, Hagen.” Georg glared at the nickname but Tom missed it. He was busy watching Bill play with Janni in the sandpit. He’d dressed down for the day at the park, knowing Tom wanted to play some basketball with his friends and he’d get to play with Janni, not really being much of a sports fan. Even in sweats and a tee shirt, he still captivated Tom. And watching Bill play with his daughter made him so confident that he’d found the perfect man. “He’s amazing. Just look.” He nodded in their direction.

Georg looked over in time to see Bill look up and say something to Janni, who promptly grinned over at them and waved frantically. She grabbed Bill’s arm and made him wave, too, making him laugh and grab her up in his arms, tickling her until she squirmed back down to the sand. Tom could hear her giggling from where they stood and grinned at the sound.

“See?”

“Yeah, I see.” Georg stared at Bill. “He looks…”

“What?”

“Well, don’t take this the wrong way,” Georg inched away subtly, “but he looks so much like a girl.”

Tom groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “And?”

“And it’s obvious he’s gay. I mean, your boyfriend is one girly man.” Georg looked back at Tom quickly, as if gauging how much he could say. “Don’t get me wrong; yes, he’s beautiful and yes, you’re happy, but what is this going to do to the rest of your life?”

“You sound like my mother, Georg,” Tom growled. Why couldn’t anyone just be happy for him? He’d been alone a long damn time and now he’d found someone that he really loved, and all anyone could do was be negative. Why couldn’t they just let them be happy?

“Sorry, man. I’m just looking out for you, you know?” Georg pushed his shoulder lightly. “We’ve been friends forever and I don’t want to see you hurt. Or Janni hurt.”

“I know.” Tom muttered. “I appreciate that, but I already went through all this with my mother. And I can take care of my daughter, thank you.” Tom tried not to glare, tried to hold his temper. He knew the Georg meant well but after the confrontation with his mother, Sherry’s snub and Mr. Shasky’s coldness, Tom was reaching his limit.

“So you’re prepared for the attitudes you’ll get around here? I don’t know of one other openly gay couple in town. There’s gotta be a reason for that.” Georg stood up and started to put his hair in a pony tail as Gustav joined them from the bench.

“I don’t care. I’m serious about this. I’m serious about him.” Tom stood up and threw the ball hard at Gustav, who ‘oofed’ and just caught it as it hit him in the chest. “I don’t care. Fuck their attitudes if they don’t like it, and fuck them.” He looked back at Bill and Janni, swinging next to each other on the big swing set now. “I don’t care.” He grabbed the ball from Gustav’s hands and ran hard to the net, his feet pounding until he sprung into the air, making a perfect lay up.

Bill had felt Tom’s eyes on him again, as they had been off and on since they’d gotten to the park, and he looked up just in time to see Tom’s move to the net. He had to smile to himself; he’d never been with a man that liked sports and this was different and kind of refreshing. Hell, it had been a long time since Bill had been with someone he would call a boyfriend. He’d had a few dates here and there since the last one, but nothing very serious.

This? This was serious. Janni chattered next to him, going on about the new girl at school who was from somewhere in Europe and how she talked so funny, and Bill listened with half an ear. Absently, he got off his swing and went behind Janni to push her higher. He watched over her head as Tom stole the ball from the guy who’d picked up the game with them, dribbled it around him and passed it to Georg. Georg made the shot and he and Tom did some complicated celebratory high five male bonding thing that made Bill laugh.

Bill stopped laughing when Georg stopped after the next play, and panting, bent over to catch his breath before standing up and peeling his tee shirt over his head. He had to admit, Georg was a damn good looking man. But then Tom lifted his shirt over his head and threw it onto the bench and Bill was transfixed.

Tom was a different kind of man. Bill let his eyes slide over Tom’s flushed skin and toned body, sweat gleaming down his back and chest, his muscles moving fluidly under his skin. Tom was definitely his kind of man.

Tom looked across the court at him and Bill flushed, caught looking and admiring, and he felt a sharp tug in his belly. Then Tom smiled, a bright, beautiful smile that made the sunlight even brighter and Bill’s day even better, and Bill couldn’t help but smile back.

Tom was definitely his kind of man. Bill’s smile grew even bigger. Tom was his man.




The book Tom was reading to Janni was The Monster At The End Of This Book.

The album Bill and Tom were listening to is Air Supply's Greatest Hits.

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