steins_stories (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
steins_stories) wrote2010-05-27 08:54 pm
steins_stories) wrote2010-05-27 08:54 pm
Entry tags:
Ein Traum, Allein, NC17, Natalie/Self, Natalie/Bill, RPF
Title: Ein Traum, Allein
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
steinsgrrl
Fandom: Tokio Hotel (RPF)
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I in no way intend to insinuate that any of the below actually happened. It is simply a piece of written entertainment based on the public personas of real people.
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Adult Content
Summary: Natalie faces a long night alone in her hotel room...which is perfect for a little quality time with Bill.
Author's Note: Thanks to my husband for the pre-read and to my beta,ma_chelle.♥ Written for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
mmom 2010, day 27.
The trouble with being Bill Kaulitz’s best friend, Natalie decided, was simply being Bill Kaulitz’s best friend.
She could never be anything more.
She could shop with him at the most expensive, exclusive shops in Paris. She could spend hours going through fashion magazines with him while he cooed and squealed over this jacket and that bag. She could sit with him at the most popular dance clubs all over the world, slamming back shots and sipping at water just to keep up with the guys, but she could never be anything more than Bill Kaulitz’s makeup artist and ‘BFF’.
And for years, that was good enough for her. For years, to want anything else from Bill would have been not only immoral, but illegal. He had been just a kid when they met. He was a kid with dreams much bigger than the tiny town of Magdeburg could hold, and so he’d gotten them out of there. Others might claim it was the twins that did it; the twins might say they did it together, but everyone who knew them knew it was Bill.
Bill’s dreams drove them. Bill’s dreams took over his family’s day to day lives, took over their dinners and their after school time and their weekends, took over everything until they’d started to believe that Bill’s dreams had been theirs all along. And with all that energy put into the dream, all those people believing in it, Bill had launched them right out of Magdeburg and rocketed them into the world.
But Bill’s dream didn’t include having a girlfriend. As much as he talked about finding his One true love, Bill made no effort to find her.
It’s not that he didn’t meet girls. He met plenty. He met them at meet and greets, where they trembled in his presence and their voices shook as they told him they loved him. Or they screamed in his face out of sheer joy and fainted dead away at his feet. Yes, he met girls every day, but he never remembered them, and he never thought about them once the band had left the meet and greet area.
No matter what he said, Bill wasn’t interested in girls. Bill wasn’t interested in boys.
Bill was only interested in Tom.
And for Bill, that wasn’t a bad thing, considering Tom was really only interested in Bill. He puffed himself up and bragged about all the girls he’d had all over the world, always made it a point to mention how many cute girls had met them at the airport or were outside their hotel or at the venue, but when it came right down to it, the only person Tom saw was Bill.
They were infinitely for each other, as fitted together as yin and yang. There was no room for anyone between them and anyone who tried only just slightly upset their balance until they came together and squeezed the irritant out like a sliver that had invaded previously whole flesh. It did not belong; she did not belong; he did not belong. It could only be the twins. Always only the twins.
And besides, Natalie had Robert. Robert and their son, at home in Hamburg, waiting for her. She’d already been married when she got this job, she’d already had Lukas, and she loved them. Even though she spent months at a time on the road, even though she had these feelings for Bill, she loved her family. This was her job, she always told herself. It was her job to be a wife and mother, but also to be a makeup artist and best friend to one of the biggest rock stars to come out of Germany in, well, maybe ever. She couldn’t risk all that, losing everything, by coming on to Bill or trying to be something she couldn’t be; something he didn’t want.
Which was why Natalie found herself alone in her hotel room in the early evening with no one to talk to and nothing to do but entertain herself.
Tonight was a night off and the twins had ensconced themselves in Bill’s room, put a “Do Not Disturb” sign up on the door, and turned off their cell phones. That was a pretty damn good indication that there would be no going out tonight. So she ordered room service, the language on the menu tipping her off that they must be in Lisbon, and she ate in the company of the overly large television set into a blonde wood cabinet at the end of the bed.
She’d already called Robert, catching him just as he was getting Lukas into the bath, and chatted with him for a few minutes before he’d had to go deal with a wet, naked child escaping the tub and running through their apartment. She smiled as she hung up, her heart aching with the wish that she could be back at home, joining Robert in the chase.
She pushed the feeling away, shoving it down unceremoniously and clapping her palms down on her thighs with determination. She refused to let herself feel down just because she had a night in alone. This was a good thing; a break from the grind, the running to and from busses, dodging fan cameras and sitting, bored, in stuffy, over-heated back stage areas.
Perhaps a bath was in order for her, as well. They’d had concerts for the last four days in a row, and the schedule on concert day generally only allowed for a quick shower when she could steal one and a weary wash up at night before falling into an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar city. If they didn’t have to spend the night on the bus. A night like this could be special. A chance to pamper herself, shave and tweeze and luxuriate in the hottest bath water she could draw until her cares were steamed away and she could slide into bed and melt down into the sheets until morning.
Her mind made up, she gathered her toiletry bag from the one suitcase she’d brought in with her and spread the contents across the bathroom vanity, setting on the edge of the tub everything she might need in the bath. Grabbing a hair clip from the bag, she twisted her thick, blond hair up and pinned it at the top of her head. Then she turned the water on and tested the temperature after a moment, adjusting the tap until the water was as hot as she could stand. Turning the stream up nearly full blast, she added her lilac scented bath salts and went to find night clothes.
After laying the short, satin gown on the bed, new panties tossed next to them, Natalie went back to turn off the tap. She stripped, dropped her clothes into the corner of the bathroom and stepped carefully into the tub. The water was hot enough to make her hiss on contact, but she persevered, bringing the other foot in to the water and sinking slowly into the tub.
Once she was completely submerged, lying on her back with her head propped up on the back of the tub, she finally felt her muscles relax. A light steam rose around her, fragrant and damp, and she could feel the short, fine hairs at her hairline begin to curl on her forehead. She let out a long steady breath and just let herself soak.
No matter how she tried to still her mind, no matter how she tried to think of nothing outside these four walls, outside the confines of the white, porcelain tub, it just didn’t seem to be possible anymore. For someone who dedicated her days to, essentially, one person, making sure his clothes were perfect; his hair was gorgeous and perfect; his makeup was beautiful and perfect, Natalie found that no matter how she tried to turn it off, Bill was always there in her mind.
It was hard to touch him every day. Hard to run her fingers through his hair and not think about making the same gesture while squirming underneath him. Hard to smooth powder across his cheek and not think about touching him like that, her fingers trembling and light as she leaned in to kiss him. Hard to touch a brush to his lips, painting on the lightest of lip glosses and not think about how she’d love to run her tongue across that plump bottom lip and taste that gloss on him.
A moan escaped her throat and echoed off the tiled walls of the bathroom. She felt another sort of heat flushing her cheeks before she remembered that it didn’t matter if she made noise. There was no one here to hear her.
There was no one here to hear her, no one here to see her. She could do as she pleased and no one would be the wiser.
Her hands had been beside her, fanning the water back and forth just below the surface, and she brought one, dripping, to her face. The touch of her fingers on her lips was soft, so soft and gentle, just as she expected Bill’s touch would be. Her nails were nearly the same length as his, and lying here with her eyes closed, she could pretend. She could pretend anything.
Her lips parted and a finger dipped between them, just inside the bottom lip, slowly stroking back and forth across the pink flesh and Natalie caught her breath. Her tongue played with the finger tip, flicking it, circling it, and she pursed her lips around it with a gentle suck. Another finger joined that one as the fingers of her other hand found the soft plane of her belly. They slid over it, caressing, tauntingly straying further and further downward until it skimmed over the short strip of soft hair that crowned her womanhood.
She let her fingers tickle the hairs there, combing through the little strip as she suckled at her fingers, her tongue sliding between them and around them. She let her legs fall open and her thighs began to tingle, her groin electric, as she lightly, so lightly, ran her fingertips over the bare lips of her pussy. Just the slightest touch against her flesh, and she sucked her breath in and delved further. She could feel her clit begin to harden, begin to yearn for more, but she wasn’t ready for that yet. She wanted this touch to last.
Her nails scratched lightly against her skin, teasing, and her lips parted around her fingers, wet lips falling open as her fingertip parted the folds that guarded her center. She was wet, a different kind of slick and sweet inside there, her heat, hotter than her bathwater against her hand and she sucked in a breath as she inserted the tip. Just to the first knuckle, just a little, before pulling it out and running that finger up, between her folds, over tantalizingly soft skin, before just skimming it over her clit, hard and waiting for her attention.
Not her attention, Bill’s attention. Bill’s finger, Bill’s tongue.
She screwed her eyes closed and pictured him, his dark head ducked between her legs, as they lay spread out on her bed. His delicate hands gripping the outsides of her thighs, his morning stubble grazing the insides as they trembled in anticipation. She could feel his breath on her, puffing over her skin and she would have sworn she swelled toward him, toward his mouth.
The first touch of his soft tongue was tentative, just slow, careful licks, and Natalie sunk down in the tub until the water just reached her chin. Her whole body felt tight; the muscles of her legs clenched and straightened until her toes emerged from the water and curled on the cold porcelain of the tub edge. They began to tremble and Bill flicked his tongue against her harder, dipping down to taste her, the essence of Natalie, and she couldn’t help but squirm.
“Mm, Bill…” His name left her lips on a moan and she added a finger to the one thrusting inside her. Bill would fuck her with his tongue, wouldn’t he? He’d make it hard and pointy and he’d push it inside her as far as he could, so far that her breath would hitch and hold and she’d jerk her hips up to meet his thrust. He’d lick at her inside, wanting every bit of her, and Natalie fingered herself furiously, the water around her splashing and rolling with the movement of her arm.
And then Bill would look up at her from between her legs. He’d watch her, his eyes dark and full of need and want and he’d slip his fingers in where his tongue had been. He’d slide them in slowly, out slowly, teasing her, tormenting until she would beg and whimper and then he’d smirk at her. He’d smirk up at her, and eyes glinting, he slowly lower his head again. She’d throw her head back with a long cry as Bill’s lips descended on her clit again, sucking and pulling, tongue licking until it was everything she had not to squeeze his head between her thighs.
Her legs quivered as she moved the fingers she’d been sucking on to flick across her clit again and again, her other fingers curled inside her and thrusting, and just as the water might engulf her, dunk her under and drown her, Natalie came.
She came hard and long, her belly tightening, her mound pushing up as she pulsed around Bill’s fingers and under his tongue. A wash of come coated Bill’s fingertips as Natalie screwed herself down on them, grinding on them and moaning his name lowly. And then, as Natalie watched, Bill locked his eyes on her, slipped his fingers, shiny with her come, from inside her and sucked them deep into his mouth. His lips slid down to the last knuckle, tongue lapping, and Natalie forgot what breathing was.
And then he was gone.
She relaxed down, her muscles still tense but feeling more like jelly every moment as the water cooled around her.
As she opened her eyes, the disappointment hit her again. Just like last time. Just like the time before.
Bill wasn’t with her. Of course, he wasn’t. Bill, that Bill, the Bill that was hers and wanted her and wanted to be with her, could only live in her fantasy.
But, she thought, with a sigh and a ghost of a smile as she finished washing up, it was one hell of a fantasy.
Her fantasy was bittersweet, but she still felt much better about the night alone, and she pulled the plug on the tub. The evening was still young and she had a sexy nightie laid out, just waiting for her to slip it on. She was pretty sure her Bill would enjoy it.
Author:
steinsgrrlFandom: Tokio Hotel (RPF)
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I in no way intend to insinuate that any of the below actually happened. It is simply a piece of written entertainment based on the public personas of real people.
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Adult Content
Summary: Natalie faces a long night alone in her hotel room...which is perfect for a little quality time with Bill.
Author's Note: Thanks to my husband for the pre-read and to my beta,
ma_chelle.♥ Written for mmom 2010, day 27.The trouble with being Bill Kaulitz’s best friend, Natalie decided, was simply being Bill Kaulitz’s best friend.
She could never be anything more.
She could shop with him at the most expensive, exclusive shops in Paris. She could spend hours going through fashion magazines with him while he cooed and squealed over this jacket and that bag. She could sit with him at the most popular dance clubs all over the world, slamming back shots and sipping at water just to keep up with the guys, but she could never be anything more than Bill Kaulitz’s makeup artist and ‘BFF’.
And for years, that was good enough for her. For years, to want anything else from Bill would have been not only immoral, but illegal. He had been just a kid when they met. He was a kid with dreams much bigger than the tiny town of Magdeburg could hold, and so he’d gotten them out of there. Others might claim it was the twins that did it; the twins might say they did it together, but everyone who knew them knew it was Bill.
Bill’s dreams drove them. Bill’s dreams took over his family’s day to day lives, took over their dinners and their after school time and their weekends, took over everything until they’d started to believe that Bill’s dreams had been theirs all along. And with all that energy put into the dream, all those people believing in it, Bill had launched them right out of Magdeburg and rocketed them into the world.
But Bill’s dream didn’t include having a girlfriend. As much as he talked about finding his One true love, Bill made no effort to find her.
It’s not that he didn’t meet girls. He met plenty. He met them at meet and greets, where they trembled in his presence and their voices shook as they told him they loved him. Or they screamed in his face out of sheer joy and fainted dead away at his feet. Yes, he met girls every day, but he never remembered them, and he never thought about them once the band had left the meet and greet area.
No matter what he said, Bill wasn’t interested in girls. Bill wasn’t interested in boys.
Bill was only interested in Tom.
And for Bill, that wasn’t a bad thing, considering Tom was really only interested in Bill. He puffed himself up and bragged about all the girls he’d had all over the world, always made it a point to mention how many cute girls had met them at the airport or were outside their hotel or at the venue, but when it came right down to it, the only person Tom saw was Bill.
They were infinitely for each other, as fitted together as yin and yang. There was no room for anyone between them and anyone who tried only just slightly upset their balance until they came together and squeezed the irritant out like a sliver that had invaded previously whole flesh. It did not belong; she did not belong; he did not belong. It could only be the twins. Always only the twins.
And besides, Natalie had Robert. Robert and their son, at home in Hamburg, waiting for her. She’d already been married when she got this job, she’d already had Lukas, and she loved them. Even though she spent months at a time on the road, even though she had these feelings for Bill, she loved her family. This was her job, she always told herself. It was her job to be a wife and mother, but also to be a makeup artist and best friend to one of the biggest rock stars to come out of Germany in, well, maybe ever. She couldn’t risk all that, losing everything, by coming on to Bill or trying to be something she couldn’t be; something he didn’t want.
Which was why Natalie found herself alone in her hotel room in the early evening with no one to talk to and nothing to do but entertain herself.
Tonight was a night off and the twins had ensconced themselves in Bill’s room, put a “Do Not Disturb” sign up on the door, and turned off their cell phones. That was a pretty damn good indication that there would be no going out tonight. So she ordered room service, the language on the menu tipping her off that they must be in Lisbon, and she ate in the company of the overly large television set into a blonde wood cabinet at the end of the bed.
She’d already called Robert, catching him just as he was getting Lukas into the bath, and chatted with him for a few minutes before he’d had to go deal with a wet, naked child escaping the tub and running through their apartment. She smiled as she hung up, her heart aching with the wish that she could be back at home, joining Robert in the chase.
She pushed the feeling away, shoving it down unceremoniously and clapping her palms down on her thighs with determination. She refused to let herself feel down just because she had a night in alone. This was a good thing; a break from the grind, the running to and from busses, dodging fan cameras and sitting, bored, in stuffy, over-heated back stage areas.
Perhaps a bath was in order for her, as well. They’d had concerts for the last four days in a row, and the schedule on concert day generally only allowed for a quick shower when she could steal one and a weary wash up at night before falling into an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar city. If they didn’t have to spend the night on the bus. A night like this could be special. A chance to pamper herself, shave and tweeze and luxuriate in the hottest bath water she could draw until her cares were steamed away and she could slide into bed and melt down into the sheets until morning.
Her mind made up, she gathered her toiletry bag from the one suitcase she’d brought in with her and spread the contents across the bathroom vanity, setting on the edge of the tub everything she might need in the bath. Grabbing a hair clip from the bag, she twisted her thick, blond hair up and pinned it at the top of her head. Then she turned the water on and tested the temperature after a moment, adjusting the tap until the water was as hot as she could stand. Turning the stream up nearly full blast, she added her lilac scented bath salts and went to find night clothes.
After laying the short, satin gown on the bed, new panties tossed next to them, Natalie went back to turn off the tap. She stripped, dropped her clothes into the corner of the bathroom and stepped carefully into the tub. The water was hot enough to make her hiss on contact, but she persevered, bringing the other foot in to the water and sinking slowly into the tub.
Once she was completely submerged, lying on her back with her head propped up on the back of the tub, she finally felt her muscles relax. A light steam rose around her, fragrant and damp, and she could feel the short, fine hairs at her hairline begin to curl on her forehead. She let out a long steady breath and just let herself soak.
No matter how she tried to still her mind, no matter how she tried to think of nothing outside these four walls, outside the confines of the white, porcelain tub, it just didn’t seem to be possible anymore. For someone who dedicated her days to, essentially, one person, making sure his clothes were perfect; his hair was gorgeous and perfect; his makeup was beautiful and perfect, Natalie found that no matter how she tried to turn it off, Bill was always there in her mind.
It was hard to touch him every day. Hard to run her fingers through his hair and not think about making the same gesture while squirming underneath him. Hard to smooth powder across his cheek and not think about touching him like that, her fingers trembling and light as she leaned in to kiss him. Hard to touch a brush to his lips, painting on the lightest of lip glosses and not think about how she’d love to run her tongue across that plump bottom lip and taste that gloss on him.
A moan escaped her throat and echoed off the tiled walls of the bathroom. She felt another sort of heat flushing her cheeks before she remembered that it didn’t matter if she made noise. There was no one here to hear her.
There was no one here to hear her, no one here to see her. She could do as she pleased and no one would be the wiser.
Her hands had been beside her, fanning the water back and forth just below the surface, and she brought one, dripping, to her face. The touch of her fingers on her lips was soft, so soft and gentle, just as she expected Bill’s touch would be. Her nails were nearly the same length as his, and lying here with her eyes closed, she could pretend. She could pretend anything.
Her lips parted and a finger dipped between them, just inside the bottom lip, slowly stroking back and forth across the pink flesh and Natalie caught her breath. Her tongue played with the finger tip, flicking it, circling it, and she pursed her lips around it with a gentle suck. Another finger joined that one as the fingers of her other hand found the soft plane of her belly. They slid over it, caressing, tauntingly straying further and further downward until it skimmed over the short strip of soft hair that crowned her womanhood.
She let her fingers tickle the hairs there, combing through the little strip as she suckled at her fingers, her tongue sliding between them and around them. She let her legs fall open and her thighs began to tingle, her groin electric, as she lightly, so lightly, ran her fingertips over the bare lips of her pussy. Just the slightest touch against her flesh, and she sucked her breath in and delved further. She could feel her clit begin to harden, begin to yearn for more, but she wasn’t ready for that yet. She wanted this touch to last.
Her nails scratched lightly against her skin, teasing, and her lips parted around her fingers, wet lips falling open as her fingertip parted the folds that guarded her center. She was wet, a different kind of slick and sweet inside there, her heat, hotter than her bathwater against her hand and she sucked in a breath as she inserted the tip. Just to the first knuckle, just a little, before pulling it out and running that finger up, between her folds, over tantalizingly soft skin, before just skimming it over her clit, hard and waiting for her attention.
Not her attention, Bill’s attention. Bill’s finger, Bill’s tongue.
She screwed her eyes closed and pictured him, his dark head ducked between her legs, as they lay spread out on her bed. His delicate hands gripping the outsides of her thighs, his morning stubble grazing the insides as they trembled in anticipation. She could feel his breath on her, puffing over her skin and she would have sworn she swelled toward him, toward his mouth.
The first touch of his soft tongue was tentative, just slow, careful licks, and Natalie sunk down in the tub until the water just reached her chin. Her whole body felt tight; the muscles of her legs clenched and straightened until her toes emerged from the water and curled on the cold porcelain of the tub edge. They began to tremble and Bill flicked his tongue against her harder, dipping down to taste her, the essence of Natalie, and she couldn’t help but squirm.
“Mm, Bill…” His name left her lips on a moan and she added a finger to the one thrusting inside her. Bill would fuck her with his tongue, wouldn’t he? He’d make it hard and pointy and he’d push it inside her as far as he could, so far that her breath would hitch and hold and she’d jerk her hips up to meet his thrust. He’d lick at her inside, wanting every bit of her, and Natalie fingered herself furiously, the water around her splashing and rolling with the movement of her arm.
And then Bill would look up at her from between her legs. He’d watch her, his eyes dark and full of need and want and he’d slip his fingers in where his tongue had been. He’d slide them in slowly, out slowly, teasing her, tormenting until she would beg and whimper and then he’d smirk at her. He’d smirk up at her, and eyes glinting, he slowly lower his head again. She’d throw her head back with a long cry as Bill’s lips descended on her clit again, sucking and pulling, tongue licking until it was everything she had not to squeeze his head between her thighs.
Her legs quivered as she moved the fingers she’d been sucking on to flick across her clit again and again, her other fingers curled inside her and thrusting, and just as the water might engulf her, dunk her under and drown her, Natalie came.
She came hard and long, her belly tightening, her mound pushing up as she pulsed around Bill’s fingers and under his tongue. A wash of come coated Bill’s fingertips as Natalie screwed herself down on them, grinding on them and moaning his name lowly. And then, as Natalie watched, Bill locked his eyes on her, slipped his fingers, shiny with her come, from inside her and sucked them deep into his mouth. His lips slid down to the last knuckle, tongue lapping, and Natalie forgot what breathing was.
And then he was gone.
She relaxed down, her muscles still tense but feeling more like jelly every moment as the water cooled around her.
As she opened her eyes, the disappointment hit her again. Just like last time. Just like the time before.
Bill wasn’t with her. Of course, he wasn’t. Bill, that Bill, the Bill that was hers and wanted her and wanted to be with her, could only live in her fantasy.
But, she thought, with a sigh and a ghost of a smile as she finished washing up, it was one hell of a fantasy.
Her fantasy was bittersweet, but she still felt much better about the night alone, and she pulled the plug on the tub. The evening was still young and she had a sexy nightie laid out, just waiting for her to slip it on. She was pretty sure her Bill would enjoy it.