steins_stories

Title: Epiphany
Author:

steinsgrrl
Fandom: Tokio Hotel
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I in no way intend to insinuate that any of the below actually happened. It is simply a piece of written entertainment based on the public personas of real people.
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Adult Content
Summary:Georg is terrified when he realizes the extent of his feelings for Bill. He can only run for so long.

You notice a lot of things about a wall when you stare at one for hours on end.

You notice whether it is painted or papered. You notice the color, the texture, the pattern. Are there bumps under the paper? Or is the paper thick enough or textured enough to cover the shoddy prep work?

The wall closest to the bed in Georg’s hotel room was beige. Just plain, boring, beige. It had a white crown molding at the top and a white baseboard at the bottom. But it also had an intricate pattern, interlocking swirls in a raised texture that repeated up and down, from ceiling to floor.

His eyes traced the pattern again and again as he tried to block out the voices whispering outside his door and the voices screaming inside his head.

The phone had stopped ringing only after he had taken it from the hook and thrown it hard enough to leave a dent in the wall next to the dresser. The knocking, and then the pounding, on his door had stopped hours ago.

Now it was just him and the voices, the loudest of which was his own. Chastising him for letting Tom open that door. Taunting him for daring to love someone he could obviously never have.

The shadows moved from one side of the wall to the other. The voices in the hall moved away. Georg moved only to use the bathroom.

~~~ooo~~~

In the dim light of evening, Georg found himself startled awake. Eyes wide, holding his breath, he listened for what had woken him.

The door clicked shut, and he exhaled.

Behind him, he could hear the scratch of denim brushing denim, stopping near the bed. He didn’t particularly want to talk to anyone. Not even Gustav. So he waited.

After a moment, he felt the edge of the bed dip. Another moment passed, and he heard the barest of whispers.

“Georg.”

His stomach tightened and he winced, irritated by his reaction.

“Georg, will you talk to me?”

Every nerve, every brain cell he had screamed at him to feign sleep. Georg would have rather been anywhere than in that room with Bill right then. But he also knew that there was no getting around this.

Still facing the wall, he replied softly with his own question.

“What do you want, Bill?”

Georg’s ears were trained to every sound Bill made, his senses were trained to every movement Bill made. He heard a short, shaky sigh and knew Bill was fidgeting.

“I want…I wanted to tell you that…” Bill hesitated, and Georg felt the lightest touch on his hip, “I’m sorry, Georg.”

“For what? You did nothing wrong. I was the one that was wrong.” His voice thick, Georg felt the stinging begin behind his eyes, and buried his face in the pillow. He’d thought he wouldn’t have any tears left, but he’d be damned if he’d let Bill see him cry.

The bed moved again, and suddenly Bill was pressed up against his back, long arm wrapped around Georg’s chest. He felt lips brush the hair over the nape of his neck, and he shuddered. Bill’s breath whispered into his ear.

“No.”

“What?“ Georg stilled, turning his head slightly, just enough to catch that whispered breath on his lips.

“No, you weren’t wrong.”

Georg melted a little in Bill’s hold before he grunted and pulled away.

“No. You can’t do this.” Not sure if he was talking to himself or Bill, Georg turned on his back, sat up on his elbows, and shot a look at the man he loved. Bill looked as miserable as Georg felt. His pale skin was more translucent than usual, his expressive lips were down-turned, his eyes a little puffy.

Bill sighed and rolled back to stare at the ceiling. Not sure what else to say, what he could say, Georg lay next to him. Neither touched the other, neither so much as breathed too loudly, for fear of scaring the other and breaking this tenuous peace.

“I didn’t have sex with her.”

Georg squeezed his eyes shut. “Bill, I saw her—“

“I know.” Bill’s hand inched over and just the side of his finger touched Georg’s hand, “I know, and I’m sorry.”

The touch of Bill’s hand sent a tingle through him, and Georg stroked his own fingertip down to the edge of Bill’s nail and back.

“I don’t know how to do this.” Bill laughed softly. “Ironic, isn’t it? All that protesting, but I guess I am just what they think I am.”

Bill’s hand turned and those nails traced Georg’s fingers from below.

“I didn’t know what to do. I still don’t.” Bill squeezed his hand and Georg turned his head, needing to see Bill’s face, needing to read his eyes. “I just kept thinking, here I am, this big rock star. I could have my pick of almost any of these girls, right?”

Georg nodded.

“But I didn’t want any of them. Even that wasn’t the part that scared me so much.” Bill rolled to his side, holding Georg’s eyes with his own. He took a long, shaky breath, and his voice trembled. “The part that scared me was figuring out that I didn’t want them, Georg, because I’m so in love with you.”

Georg’s eyes flew open wide and it felt like his heart stopped in his chest.

“What?” He couldn’t have heard him right.

Even with daylight fading fast, Georg could see Bill’s cheeks pinken, and he watched his love duck his chin to his chest. He turned to Bill, laying so close that he could feel the heat radiating from the blushing singer. He propped his head up with one arm, and tried to keep the grin from his face. Thick, unsteady fingers tucked stray strands of Bill’s hair behind his ear, trailed softly down to his smooth chin and gently lifted Bill’s head.

“Tell me that again, Bill.”

Georg could see that Bill was getting flustered. His eyes shot up to Georg’s, his dark pink tongue darted out to lick his lips, and Georg couldn’t decide where he wanted to look.

“I was wrong, and I was scared, and the girl…” Bill was forgetting to breathe, but he wasn’t stopping, and Georg wasn’t stopping him, “God, I’m sorry I hurt you. I never meant to…and I didn’t have sex with her, I swear!”

Georg wrapped his fingers around the nape of Bill’s neck, his thumb caressing the smooth, sweet spot just under Bill’s ear. “I believe you.”

“And I tried all day to talk to you, tried to get Gustav to make you let me in, and he wouldn’t. I just needed to tell you that I love you. And…”

Bill hesitated and Georg waited.

“And?”

“And I didn’t want you hurting for another minute because I was being stupid. So I…uh, sorta flirted with the girl at the front desk, and she gave me an extra key-card for your room.” The blush on Bill’s cheeks deepened, and Georg had no choice but to grin.

“Bill!” Georg tried to chide his behavior, but the chuckle killed the effect.

“Georg.”

The smile faded slowly, and he realized suddenly that Bill was so close. So close, they were almost touching.

“Yeah?”

Bill kissed him. He bridged that small gap left between them, and his lips pressed softly to Georg’s. This time it was Bill making the moves, Bill’s tongue seeking admittance, lapping gently at Georg’s lips. He could never deny Bill anything. He opened up and sucked Bill in.

With a small groan on his breath, Georg pulled Bill on top of him, relishing how anchored the weight made him feel. Bill melted over him, nestling his leg between Georg’s.

Georg’s hands slid down Bill’s sides, skimmed his hips, squeezing, caressing, touching everywhere he could reach. His fingers finally found the swell of Bill’s ass, and he cupped it, pulling up carefully, making Bill’s cock grind against him. Bill gasped into Georg’s mouth, but when he did it again, Bill moaned and kissed him harder. Their lips crashed together, their tongues exploring, massaging, dueling for control.

They pulled apart, for just a moment, and Bill nipped at Georg’s full bottom lip. Georg ran his fingers through Bill’s hair, catching his breath. He pulled back, making Bill look him in the eye.

“Are you sure? If we do this, you’re not going to go running from me tomorrow?” He smiled a little, trying to make it into a laugh, but he was much too nervous to pull that off. He wanted this so much, but there was no way he was going to cause any more pain or awkwardness between them.

“Yes, I want this. I want you.” Bill pressed his lips to the palm holding his cheek before leaning down to kiss Georg again. He sat up, legs on either side of his lover’s hips, pulled his tee shirt off and tossed it off the bed.

Georg lay back, watching Bill, wanting to touch him, knowing once he did, once he touched his alabaster skin, there would be no turning back.

Nothing could have stopped him. Georg sat up with Bill in his lap, wrapped his hands around Bill’s sides, so his fingers brushed his shoulder blades, and rasped his tongue over Bill’s taut nipple. Bill sucked his breath in hard, and his reaction spurred Georg on. Bill’s fingers grasped at his shoulders as Georg drug his teeth softly over the little nub. Finally, he took the whole thing in his mouth, tasting, suckling, teasing, before releasing it to move to Bill’s other nipple.

Bill’s fingers wandered through Georg’s hair, pulling him closer, making him suck and tease his nipple harder, before wrapping his fingers around the silken strands and pulling Georg away from his chest.

Georg looked up at Bill, still in a daze, mouth still open and wet, wondering why they were stopping, He didn’t wonder long, as Bill’s mouth came down on his again, and he felt his tee shirt being lifted off of him. As soon as Bill tossed the shirt away, he kissed his way down Georg’s neck, nipping at his shoulder, tonguing where he bit.

His fingers began to play with the button on Bill’s jeans.

Bill breathed in his ear. “Yes”

He released the button, unzipped them, and pulled them down as far as he could with Bill sitting on him. Shaky fingers caressed the soft skin over Bill’s hip and belly before gliding around to dip shyly below the denim, then stretching to reach more.

Georg moved Bill off of him, and lay him down on the bed. He felt the tremor inside his lover as he pulled those jeans further down, his lips following the fabric’s descent. Open kisses dotted their way over Bill’s hip, down his groin, down his thigh, until Georg peeled the jeans over his feet and threw them off the bed.

His eyes landed on Bill’s hard cock, lying flat and hot on his belly, and the tightness in Georg’s groin became nearly unbearable. Arousal swirled in his belly, barely contained by a touch of fear. Georg knew what he wanted to do.

He’d never done this before. He’d never touched another man’s cock, let alone what he wanted to do now. But there was Bill, lying so beautiful in front of him, running his fingertips up and down his sides, reaching down and running them over his cock before trailing them back up. Georg’s eyes followed them, then kept going up to lock with Bill’s.

He kept his eyes locked on those dark eyes as he planted his hands on either side of Bill’s hips and licked a long stripe up the underside of Bill’s cock. The noise that came from Bill then was low and deep, prompting Georg to do it again. Bill’s cock twitched and bounced up as Georg’s tongue lathed over the sensitive head.

Bill’s eyes fluttered shut and white-tipped fingers clawed at the sheets as Georg wrapped a hand around the base of Bill’s cock and slipped the head into his mouth. He slid his lips down further, swirling his tongue over the hot surface, until his lips met his fingers.

Bill squirmed and moaned louder, making Georg wonder if someone would hear them. Almost as soon as the though occurred to him, he dismissed it. He didn’t care if they did hear them. He was loving Bill, and that was all that mattered at that moment.

Georg moved his hand from Bill’s cock and slid his mouth down as far as it would go, gagging and making his stomach jump just a little when he went to far. He pulled back a bit, squeezing his lips together, sucking hard on the upstroke, lapping at the head, then gliding down the thin, silky skin all the way to the base again.

He found that he loved how Bill’s cock felt in his mouth. He loved the smooth skin, the hardness underneath, the taste of Bill’s precome weeping from the slit. He loved watching Bill’s face, his head thrown back, mouth open, as he sucked his cock in, made love to it with his lips and tongue. He could have done this for a very long time, if Bill had not grabbed at him, blindly grasping Georg’s head and pulling him up to kiss him hard.

“That was so good.” Bill whispered as he kissed across Georg’s jaw, sucking a little when he moved down to his neck, and Georg knew that the marks of Bill’s territory would be there tomorrow.

“Then why did you make me stop?”

Georg pulled back, feeling Bill’s teeth graze his neck before he was searching his lover’s dusky eyes. Pink touched Bill’s cheeks again, and he tried to hide his face in Georg’s neck, breathing into his ear.

“Because I want more.”

Georg’s stomach flipped and his cock swelled even further in his jeans. He moved to search Bill’s eyes. He had to know, had to make sure that he knew what Bill was asking. The question must have shown in his eyes, because Bill nodded.

“I want…” Bill kissed him again and ran his hands down Georg’s back, fingers dipping inside the waist of Georg’s jeans, grazing the top of Georg’s ass. “I want you inside me.”

The words registered, and Georg growled around Bill’s tongue, lapping at it, sucking on it, before pulling himself out of Bill’s arms. He stood by the bed and quickly pulled the rest of his clothes off, and dug through his duffel bag for his little bottle of lube. He climbed back on the bed and settled himself next to Bill, pressing his hot erection into Bill’s thigh.

Bill sighed at the warmth and reached down to wrap his fingers around Georg’s swollen cock while he lazily caressed his own. Georg’s breath hitched as Bill stroked him slowly.

He loved what Bill’s fingers were doing to him, but he really wanted to be inside him. He wanted to make love to Bill. So he stilled Bill’s hand and guided him to spread his legs wide.

Georg was drinking in everything he saw in front of him. Bill, looking completely debauched, splayed out in front of him. His thighs, so white and smooth. Hard cock being stroked so slowly and tentatively by manicured fingers that dipped down to caress and cup his balls before gliding back up to run his nails up the underside of his cock.

Several times, Georg covered his fingers in lube and brought them to Bill’s opening. He knew he would need a lot if he didn’t want to hurt Bill, so he slathered it around generously. He gently slipped one finger into Bill, and his lover gasped, hanging onto Georg’s arm and burying his face in his neck.

So slowly, so gently, Georg moved his finger inside of him. He stroked carefully, and moved his finger further with each stroke. He drizzled on more lube and added a second finger.

Bill tensed for a few tough moments before relaxing enough to let the fingers thrust into him smoothly. The third finger took a little longer to adjust to, but when Georg turned his palm up and curled his fingers to brush against the little bundle of nerves, Bill made a low noise in the back of his throat, and thrust up on Georg’s fingers.

Georg slowly pulled his fingers out of Bill, smiling a little at his lover’s whine of protest. He positioned himself between Bill’s legs and slathered lube over the length of his cock, giving it a couple quick strokes that made thighs tense.

He found Bill’s eyes again, and his heart leapt at the love shining there. He hoped that Bill could read the same in his, because he didn’t know if he’d ever felt anything so powerful in his life as being poised over the top of this exotic beauty that had stolen his heart.

Georg’s bumped the head of his cock against Bill’s opening, and he could feel the heat that waited for him inside. He held his breath, and as he sank deeper into Bill’s eyes, he sank himself into Bill’s flesh.

~~~ooo~~~

Georg’s eyes drifted open, and he blinked a few times before he could focus. Sunlight streamed into the room through a crack in the curtains, beaming a warm column across the bed.

He stretched a little, feeling the ache in his muscles, and tightened his arm around Bill. He couldn’t help but gaze at him, brushing away the hair that tickled Bill’s cheek, trailing a finger down his neck, stroking soft flesh, wrapping his arm around him and hold him close.

Bill’s eyes fluttered open then closed again. He hummed and planted sleepy kisses up Georg’s chest, finally opening his eyes as he lay a tender kiss on his lover’s lips.

“Bill.” Georg couldn’t keep the grin from his face.

“Yeah?” A smile grew on Bill’s lips, and he raised his brows with the question.

Georg pulled his head back down so Bill’s lips were just hovering over his.

“I love you.”

Bill grinned bigger and tried to kiss him. They realized how hard it is to try to smile and kiss at the same time, and ended up puffing breaths of laughter into each other.

“You know we have an interview today, right?” Bill’s voice was muffled in his neck, and the vibration made Georg giggle and push Bill’s face away.

“I know. I just don’t want to leave this bed.” Bill pulled himself from Georg’s arms and nibbled down Georg’s belly before sliding out of bed.

“I’m going to shower and pack. Meet me when you’re done, and we’ll go down together, okay?” Bill pulled his pants up and fastened them, looking around for his tee shirt. He found it and pulled it over his head. He leaned down to kiss Georg one more time before leaving. Georg grabbed the back of his neck and deepened the kiss, sucking Bill’s lips, nibbling on them until Bill was moaning and ready to climb back in bed. Georg pulled away to murmur against Bill’s lips.

“I’ll meet you in twenty minutes.”

Bill grunted at him, but the twinkle in his eye belied his irritation. He was out the door before Georg had thrown the covers back.

~~~ooo~~~

Half an hour later, Georg finished jamming his dirty clothes into his duffel bag and looked around to make sure he wasn’t forgetting anything. He decided he had everything he needed and opened the door to the hall.

He had everything he needed but the most important thing. As he raised his fist to knock on Bill’s door, it opened, and Bill stood before him. Georg heard the door to Gustav’s room open, and the low mumble of the drummer’s ‘hello‘, but he couldn’t take his eyes from Bill’s beautiful smile.

Bill gave a little wave to Gustav, and Georg turned to look at his friend. He grinned and nodded to him, hoping he would understand.

A slow smiled bloomed on Gustav’s face

Bill slipped his hand into Georg’s, and squeezed it as they turned and walked toward the elevator.

The End