Das Beste, PG, Tom/Bill
May. 5th, 2009 12:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
steins_storiesTitle: Das Beste
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
steinsgrrl
Fandom: Tokio Hotel
Pairing: Tom/Bill
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I in no way intend to insinuate that any of the below actually happened. It is simply a piece of written entertainment based on the public personas of real people.
Rating: PG
Warnings: twincest
Summary: Bill is afraid Tom has missed out on a big part of life because of him.
Author's Note: Of the series: Through the Years
"Bill, did we ever decide what to get Natalie’s grandson for his elementary graduation?” Tom put down the cantaloupe he’d been holding and picked another up, sniffing the smooth, green and orange spot on the end.
“Bill?“ Tom gave another cantaloupe the sniff test before deciding it was ripe enough to go home with them but not so ripe that it would be bad in two days. He’d placed the melon carefully at the bottom of the grocery cart before he realized Bill still hadn’t answered him. Tom felt a twinge in his back as he tried to stand up straight and he rubbed it with one hand while the other pushed him upright.
Behind him, holding on to the handle of the cart, Bill was staring over Tom’s shoulder.
“What? What are you looking at?” Tom craned his neck around to follow Bill’s line of sight. There was nothing there that he could see, except a couple picking over the bunches of bananas. The man was tall and blonde, the woman, tall and dark, and they complimented each other well. As he watched, the woman said something to make the man laugh, and he reached over to tweak her side, making her giggle, before clasping her hand in his and kissing her on the forehead. The chubby-cheeked toddler in the woman’s arms reached up with plump fingers and patter her mama on the cheek.
Bill sighed and started to push the cart slowly, “C’mon, Tomi, let’s get done.”
Tom turned as Bill passed by him, barely catching the frown of sadness in his brother’s eyes. He caught up to Bill as quickly as he could.
“What’s wrong?” He touched Bill’s hand where it lay on the cart handle.
Bill ducked his head, blinking rapidly, before glancing at Tom.
“Nothing, why?” Bill veered into the next aisle. “I think we need more mayonnaise.”
Tom stared after his brother, his stomach swirling and his chest aching.
~~~
When they got home and brought their grocery bags in, their dog, Alex, greeted them with a tail-wag and a wiggle so hard, he nearly lifted his hind feet off the floor. Bill cooed at him and rubbed the pup’s muzzle, finally smiling again, and Tom breathed a sigh of relief to see it.
“Here, let me take that.” Tom took the bag from his twin’s hand and brought them to the kitchen. “What are we making for supper? Wait, you wanted pizza, right?” He started putting the frozen foods away, searching the bags for pizza as he did.
Bill didn’t answer, but came in holding the cat. She was a grey and chubby and so happy to be held that Tom could hear her purring from across the kitchen. Bill stroked the soft fur under the feline’s chin and she kneaded Bill’s shoulder before nuzzling her face into his neck.
“Tom, can I ask--”
“I don’t think--”
Tom snorted when they spoke at the same time, and turned to look through the freezer again as Bill let Josie jump down. “I don’t think we picked up any pizza. Are you sure you put it on the list?”
“Tom?” Bill’s voice was muffled to Tom with his face in the freezer, but he lifted several more packages before closing the door and opening the pantry door and grabbing a package of noodles.
“Yeah?”
“Do you ever… Well, have you… ?” Bill’s voice was timid, and Tom forgot all about getting the pasta cooking. Sliding the bag onto the counter, he turned and leaned against it, waiting for his twin to finish.
Bill looked at his feet, at the wall, at the counter next to him. He looked everywhere but at Tom, especially when Tom straddled his feet on either side of his twin’s, wrapped sinewy arms around his back and brushed warm lips against Bill’s neck.
“Bill, what is going on? You’ve been weird since the produce aisle.” He opened his lips to taste the skin beneath them and felt Bill sigh into his shoulder.
“You know, it’s nothing.” Bill pulled Tom’s long, silver locks off his shoulders and leaned in to kiss his brother’s wrinkled cheek. When he pulled back, he’d fixed a big smile on his face. “Really, it’s nothing. Let’s just get this supper going. I’ll get the salami.”
Tom stepped back to let Bill by, surprised by Bill’s sudden change of mood, but he wasn’t buying it, either. And as Tom filled a pan with water and set it on the stove to boil, he thought about how Bill’s smile hadn’t reached his eyes.
~~~
The television was turned off hours ago, right after the nightly news, and the light followed less than two minutes later. Bill had snuggled in his arms while Tom watched the commentator spew on about how today’s teenagers are more out of control than ever, but he hadn’t spoken much since they’d finished loading the dishwasher.
Tom lay on his back with his eyes closed, listening to the sound of Bill breathing. He’d been listening to that sound in bed every night since the band broke up and they’d moved away from Germany to live together where no one knew them. After nearly forty-three years, the sounds Bill made in bed…his breathing, his tiny grunts when he was waking up, his most intimate sounds…were music to Tom’s ears, the music he lived by.
So Tom knew by Bill’s breathing that he wasn’t asleep. He knew, but he waited for Bill, because rushing Bill never got you there any faster.
“You awake?” Tom smiled in the dark as Bill finally decided to talk. He felt thin fingers brushing around his navel, dipping inside before the hand lay flat on Tom’s belly again.
“Yeah.”
“Tom, did you ever…” Bill paused, holding his breath before whining and pressing his face into Tom’s shoulder.
“What, Bill? You’re driving me crazy with this.” Tom pulled him closer with the arm wrapped around Bill’s shoulders and cupped his cheek with the other palm.
“Well, I saw that family in the store today, and I started thinking.” Bill’s voice had gone back to timid and Tom wasn’t sure he was going to like this.
“Thinking what?”
“God, I hate this because I want to know, but I don’t want to know, because what if it hurts, you know? Or what if it upsets you? That’s not what I want at all--” Tom could feel the bed moving from Bill gesticulating with his free hand as he spoke.
“Bill, just … what?” Tom was starting to lose his patience and Bill caught the edge in his voice.
“I’m sorry. I‘m just gonna…” he sighed. “Tom, do you ever miss not having a wife and family?”
“What? What are you talking about?” Tom pulled back, pushing Bill just far enough away that he could see his brother’s eyes in the darkness, his stomach twisting when he found them moist and sad.
“I saw that couple at the store and I thought about how you never got to get married and you never got to have a family, and how you just missed out on so much by being with me. I started thinking that maybe you regretted it sometimes.” Bill’s voice broke and he tried to bury his face in Tom’s neck again.
Tom wasn’t having it. He pulled back again, Bill’s fine, silver strands under his palms, and searched his brother’s eyes.
“You’re serious, aren’t you?”
Bill didn’t answer, but Tom could see that he was, and his arms ached with the pain his brother was feeling.
“After more than forty years, you think this? When I have spent the last forty years with the most amazing, most beautiful man I’ve ever known?” Tom would have sworn he felt Bill’s cheeks pinken under the thumbs that skimmed the papery skin there.
“You wonder if I regret not having a wife? What is a wife, Bill? The one you love, your partner for life. The one you wake up with and cook with and talk with and cry with and sleep with. The one you make love with.” He had to smile when he felt Bill duck his head in Tom’s hands.
“If that is so, then you must be my wife, and I must be yours.” Bill nodded and tried to snuggle back into Tom’s arms, but Tom wasn’t done.
“As for not having a family, what else could you be but my family? You’re my brother, you’re my lover, you’re my soul mate, you’re my everything. We’ve always had each other and we always will. You are my family, and I am yours.” Tom finished with a whisper, bringing his face closer to Bill’s until he finally pressed their lips together, kissing him soundly and fully. When the kiss ended and Tom had planted half a dozen tiny kisses on Bill’s cheeks, and chin and ended with one on the tip of his nose, he finally let Bill settle back into his arms.
Tom brushed his fingers down Bill’s side, the side where a faded tattoo lived, and Bill dotted his chest with kisses.
“I’m sorry.” Bill’s lips squashed the words against Tom’s chest.
“Don’t be sorry, love. Just…” He pulled Bill up to him and let his brother’s hair fall around them, “I want you know that that this is the best. Our life together has been the best, and there is nothing I have missed by loving you.”
Bill sighed into his lips and he kissed his love goodnight.
Author:
steinsgrrlFandom: Tokio Hotel
Pairing: Tom/Bill
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I in no way intend to insinuate that any of the below actually happened. It is simply a piece of written entertainment based on the public personas of real people.
Rating: PG
Warnings: twincest
Summary: Bill is afraid Tom has missed out on a big part of life because of him.
Author's Note: Of the series: Through the Years
"Bill, did we ever decide what to get Natalie’s grandson for his elementary graduation?” Tom put down the cantaloupe he’d been holding and picked another up, sniffing the smooth, green and orange spot on the end.
“Bill?“ Tom gave another cantaloupe the sniff test before deciding it was ripe enough to go home with them but not so ripe that it would be bad in two days. He’d placed the melon carefully at the bottom of the grocery cart before he realized Bill still hadn’t answered him. Tom felt a twinge in his back as he tried to stand up straight and he rubbed it with one hand while the other pushed him upright.
Behind him, holding on to the handle of the cart, Bill was staring over Tom’s shoulder.
“What? What are you looking at?” Tom craned his neck around to follow Bill’s line of sight. There was nothing there that he could see, except a couple picking over the bunches of bananas. The man was tall and blonde, the woman, tall and dark, and they complimented each other well. As he watched, the woman said something to make the man laugh, and he reached over to tweak her side, making her giggle, before clasping her hand in his and kissing her on the forehead. The chubby-cheeked toddler in the woman’s arms reached up with plump fingers and patter her mama on the cheek.
Bill sighed and started to push the cart slowly, “C’mon, Tomi, let’s get done.”
Tom turned as Bill passed by him, barely catching the frown of sadness in his brother’s eyes. He caught up to Bill as quickly as he could.
“What’s wrong?” He touched Bill’s hand where it lay on the cart handle.
Bill ducked his head, blinking rapidly, before glancing at Tom.
“Nothing, why?” Bill veered into the next aisle. “I think we need more mayonnaise.”
Tom stared after his brother, his stomach swirling and his chest aching.
When they got home and brought their grocery bags in, their dog, Alex, greeted them with a tail-wag and a wiggle so hard, he nearly lifted his hind feet off the floor. Bill cooed at him and rubbed the pup’s muzzle, finally smiling again, and Tom breathed a sigh of relief to see it.
“Here, let me take that.” Tom took the bag from his twin’s hand and brought them to the kitchen. “What are we making for supper? Wait, you wanted pizza, right?” He started putting the frozen foods away, searching the bags for pizza as he did.
Bill didn’t answer, but came in holding the cat. She was a grey and chubby and so happy to be held that Tom could hear her purring from across the kitchen. Bill stroked the soft fur under the feline’s chin and she kneaded Bill’s shoulder before nuzzling her face into his neck.
“Tom, can I ask--”
“I don’t think--”
Tom snorted when they spoke at the same time, and turned to look through the freezer again as Bill let Josie jump down. “I don’t think we picked up any pizza. Are you sure you put it on the list?”
“Tom?” Bill’s voice was muffled to Tom with his face in the freezer, but he lifted several more packages before closing the door and opening the pantry door and grabbing a package of noodles.
“Yeah?”
“Do you ever… Well, have you… ?” Bill’s voice was timid, and Tom forgot all about getting the pasta cooking. Sliding the bag onto the counter, he turned and leaned against it, waiting for his twin to finish.
Bill looked at his feet, at the wall, at the counter next to him. He looked everywhere but at Tom, especially when Tom straddled his feet on either side of his twin’s, wrapped sinewy arms around his back and brushed warm lips against Bill’s neck.
“Bill, what is going on? You’ve been weird since the produce aisle.” He opened his lips to taste the skin beneath them and felt Bill sigh into his shoulder.
“You know, it’s nothing.” Bill pulled Tom’s long, silver locks off his shoulders and leaned in to kiss his brother’s wrinkled cheek. When he pulled back, he’d fixed a big smile on his face. “Really, it’s nothing. Let’s just get this supper going. I’ll get the salami.”
Tom stepped back to let Bill by, surprised by Bill’s sudden change of mood, but he wasn’t buying it, either. And as Tom filled a pan with water and set it on the stove to boil, he thought about how Bill’s smile hadn’t reached his eyes.
The television was turned off hours ago, right after the nightly news, and the light followed less than two minutes later. Bill had snuggled in his arms while Tom watched the commentator spew on about how today’s teenagers are more out of control than ever, but he hadn’t spoken much since they’d finished loading the dishwasher.
Tom lay on his back with his eyes closed, listening to the sound of Bill breathing. He’d been listening to that sound in bed every night since the band broke up and they’d moved away from Germany to live together where no one knew them. After nearly forty-three years, the sounds Bill made in bed…his breathing, his tiny grunts when he was waking up, his most intimate sounds…were music to Tom’s ears, the music he lived by.
So Tom knew by Bill’s breathing that he wasn’t asleep. He knew, but he waited for Bill, because rushing Bill never got you there any faster.
“You awake?” Tom smiled in the dark as Bill finally decided to talk. He felt thin fingers brushing around his navel, dipping inside before the hand lay flat on Tom’s belly again.
“Yeah.”
“Tom, did you ever…” Bill paused, holding his breath before whining and pressing his face into Tom’s shoulder.
“What, Bill? You’re driving me crazy with this.” Tom pulled him closer with the arm wrapped around Bill’s shoulders and cupped his cheek with the other palm.
“Well, I saw that family in the store today, and I started thinking.” Bill’s voice had gone back to timid and Tom wasn’t sure he was going to like this.
“Thinking what?”
“God, I hate this because I want to know, but I don’t want to know, because what if it hurts, you know? Or what if it upsets you? That’s not what I want at all--” Tom could feel the bed moving from Bill gesticulating with his free hand as he spoke.
“Bill, just … what?” Tom was starting to lose his patience and Bill caught the edge in his voice.
“I’m sorry. I‘m just gonna…” he sighed. “Tom, do you ever miss not having a wife and family?”
“What? What are you talking about?” Tom pulled back, pushing Bill just far enough away that he could see his brother’s eyes in the darkness, his stomach twisting when he found them moist and sad.
“I saw that couple at the store and I thought about how you never got to get married and you never got to have a family, and how you just missed out on so much by being with me. I started thinking that maybe you regretted it sometimes.” Bill’s voice broke and he tried to bury his face in Tom’s neck again.
Tom wasn’t having it. He pulled back again, Bill’s fine, silver strands under his palms, and searched his brother’s eyes.
“You’re serious, aren’t you?”
Bill didn’t answer, but Tom could see that he was, and his arms ached with the pain his brother was feeling.
“After more than forty years, you think this? When I have spent the last forty years with the most amazing, most beautiful man I’ve ever known?” Tom would have sworn he felt Bill’s cheeks pinken under the thumbs that skimmed the papery skin there.
“You wonder if I regret not having a wife? What is a wife, Bill? The one you love, your partner for life. The one you wake up with and cook with and talk with and cry with and sleep with. The one you make love with.” He had to smile when he felt Bill duck his head in Tom’s hands.
“If that is so, then you must be my wife, and I must be yours.” Bill nodded and tried to snuggle back into Tom’s arms, but Tom wasn’t done.
“As for not having a family, what else could you be but my family? You’re my brother, you’re my lover, you’re my soul mate, you’re my everything. We’ve always had each other and we always will. You are my family, and I am yours.” Tom finished with a whisper, bringing his face closer to Bill’s until he finally pressed their lips together, kissing him soundly and fully. When the kiss ended and Tom had planted half a dozen tiny kisses on Bill’s cheeks, and chin and ended with one on the tip of his nose, he finally let Bill settle back into his arms.
Tom brushed his fingers down Bill’s side, the side where a faded tattoo lived, and Bill dotted his chest with kisses.
“I’m sorry.” Bill’s lips squashed the words against Tom’s chest.
“Don’t be sorry, love. Just…” He pulled Bill up to him and let his brother’s hair fall around them, “I want you know that that this is the best. Our life together has been the best, and there is nothing I have missed by loving you.”
Bill sighed into his lips and he kissed his love goodnight.
