Janni, NC17, Tom/Bill, 8/?

[steins_stories]

Title: Janni
Author: steinsgrrl
Fandom: Tokio Hotel
Pairing: Tom/Bill
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I in no way intend to insinuate that any of the below actually happened. It is simply a piece of written entertainment based on the public personas of real people.
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Twincest-not related, Adult Concepts, Light Kink
Summary: When two men meet and fall in love, they expect there will be bumps in the road. When one of those men has a daughter, some bumps can seem more like mountains.
Author's Note: Thank you so much to ma_chelle for the beta. You are invaluable. Lovely banner by lynnchan.


“I like you,” Bill breathed across Tom’s lips and the world around them faded, “a lot. So teach me?”

Tom groaned into Bill’s lips, just ghosting over his. “Anything.”

Bill ran just the wet tip of his tongue against Tom’s bottom lip and Tom lost what little control he had left. Wrapping his hand around the back of Bill’s neck, weaving his fingers through his long, soft hair, he opened his lips and really kissed him. He nibbled on Bill’s plump lips, flicking his tongue where his teeth had just been and then delved further, tasting as much of Bill as he could. Just as Bill cupped his palm over Tom’s cheek, a small voice came from above them.

“Daddy?”

Bill and Tom recoiled from each other like their lips were on fire, putting some distance between them. They looked at each other before even looking up at Janni and while Tom’s belly jumped with nerves and a little fear, the apology was clear on Bill’s face. Tom threw him a tight smile, trying to tell him somehow that it was okay, it had to happen sometime, and that Tom wasn’t mad.

“Daddy, what were you doing?” Janni’s eyes were wide and curious as she scratched at a bug bite on her arm.

Tom wasn’t sure exactly what to say yet, but whatever it was he told her, he wasn’t going to do it here.

“C’mere.” Tom crooked a finger at her and Janni dragged sand from her feet onto the blanket when she crossed it to get to him, plopping down on his belly and making him ‘oomph’. “Ugh, watch the belly, little girl! How about we talk about what we were doing when we get home? Will that work?”

Janni shrugged a little. “Okay.” She bounced on his belly a couple times, giggling at the funny noises he made. He finally grabbed her sides and tickled her until she laughed so hard she was breathless, all the while teasing her for landing on his belly so hard. She fell off to the side, her head landing on Bill’s leg and he grinned down at her, enjoying the scene.

Bill loved watching Tom and Janni interact together. He hadn’t had a father for most of his life, only during part of every summer, and they certainly hadn’t gotten along like this. He couldn’t remember ever getting in a tickle fight with his father, and watching Tom with his daughter made him realize how much he’d missed. And how much Janni had.

“Honey, go get your shoes, I think we’re going home now.” Tom stood Janni up and patted her back as he stood behind her. Janni grumbled about still wanting to play, all the while wandering back to the playground to gather the sandals she’d left in the sand pit.

“So we’re leaving?” Bill asked, standing up and straightening his shirt. His belly churned and he was pretty sure it wasn’t because of the lunch they had.

“Yeah.” It was Tom’s turn to look apologetic. “If you don’t mind taking us home. I want some time to hang out with her and talk with her about this.” Tom reached a tentative hand out and twined his fingers loosely with Bill’s, just needing his touch.

“No, no.” Bill squeezed Tom’s fingers softly. “Do what you need to do.” He pulled Tom a little closer, not planning to kiss him again, because that would be stupid, but just wanting to feel Tom’s body heat near him. “Look, I’m sorry for kissing you like that. I should have had better self control.”

Tom’s brow furrowed slightly. “Do you regret it?” He looked down at where their hands were joined, not really wanting to see Bill’s face if he said ‘yes’.

“Regret it? No, are you kidding?” Bill lifted Tom’s chin with one perfectly manicured fingertip. “I loved it. I want more like you would not believe.” Tom blushed hard and Bill smiled at the reaction. “The only thing I regret is the timing, okay?”

Tom nodded, Bill so close that Tom could smell his spicy scent. And being close enough to smell him made Tom remember how Bill tasted. He gulped and breathed out hard, using all his willpower to back up a step.

“I got my sandals.” Janni dragged her toes through the grass as she approached the blanket, hanging her sandals off her fingers.

“Okay.” Bill picked up the basket and Tom folded the blanket, tucking it under his arm. “Let’s go, then.”

Janni skipped ahead of them, singing something Tom recognized from one of her ‘princess movies’.

“She doesn’t seem to be too upset about it.” Bill nodded toward Janni, adjusting his hold on the basket.

Tom watched her thoughtfully. “Not so far. I’m curious to see what she’ll say.”

“What are you going to tell her?”

“I don’t know. That it’s normal? That there’s nothing wrong with a man dating another man, or kissing another man, or…” he glanced at Bill from the corner of his eye before ducking his head, “…falling in love with another man.”

Bill stopped in his tracks and Tom walked ahead a couple steps before realizing he’d left Bill behind. He was a little preoccupied with the clenching his gut was doing right about then for even having the nerve to say something like that. Bill had said that he liked Tom a lot, but that didn’t mean that he was in love with Tom. And Tom couldn’t really say for sure that he was in love with Bill. He knew something was there, he knew he felt incredible around Bill and that the need to be near him now was nothing short of a bodily craving, but was that love?

Bill didn’t move, still staring at Tom and looking a little pink in the face. “Are you…?”

Tom doubled back and reached for Bill’s free hand. “We’ll talk about it later. After I talk to Janni.” Bill sputtered but Tom tugged on his hand and, with a sigh, let Tom lead the way toward Bill’s car.

Parked next to the Audi was a big, blue minivan. As Bill and Tom approached the car, Janni ran up, hugging a little girl that had just jumped out of the sliding door, her mother rounding the front of the van. When she saw Janni, she turned to smile at Tom.

“Hey, Tom! It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?” Tom knew her from the PTA meetings at Janni’s school and she’d helped him find Janni’s class the first time they visited the building. She’d always been very helpful, very polite, with a perpetual smile on her face.

“Hi, Sherrie. Yeah, it’s gorgeous. I hope it stays like this a while.” Tom returned her smile, but his faded as the smile slipped from her face when saw Bill and her eyes landed on their linked hands.

“Well…um.” Sherrie fidgeted with her purse, her lips pursing in a tight frown. She shook her head and stepped back. “Heather, let’s go.”

“But Mama, I want to talk to Janni—“ Heather whined and wrapped her arms around Janni’s shoulders.

“I said let’s go!” Sherrie gritted between her teeth and she clasped her daughter’s shoulder hard, pulling her away from Janni.

As Sherrie stalked away, pulling Heather behind her, Janni called out, “Bye, Heather!”

When Tom helped Janni get her seat belt buckled, Janni asked, “Daddy, why was Heather’s mommy mad?”

Tom rested his forehead against hers and sighed before kissing her quickly on the nose. “We’ll talk about that, too.”

“When we get home?”

“When we get home. Promise.” Tom went around the passenger side and settled in his seat, buckling up as Bill started the car.

“You okay?” Bill murmured quietly, offering his hand.

“Yeah.” Tom took it and stared out the window, his head full of swirling thoughts.

~~~

“We’ve been out twice now.” Bill pressed the phone into his ear with his shoulder, reaching into the cupboard for a new pack of cigarettes.

”Really! And…? You can’t tell me you went out with a luscious boy and not give me details, you know.” David snorted in Bill’s ear and he smirked.

“And why should I tell all? You need to live vicariously? Not getting any lately?” Bill flopped on the couch, resting the ashtray on his flat belly and opening the cigarette pack.

”Oh god, girl, it’s like the frikkin’ Sahara around here! Where are all the fine young things pouring off the bus from Ohio? We need new blood.” David whined.

Bill lit his cigarette and inhaled deeply, blowing the smoke out through his nose in one long stream. “Yeah, well, I’m not getting any, either, so there’s nothing to tell. “

”Not even a kiss? Wait, don’t tell me. He doesn’t kiss until the third date.”

“Oh, no,” Bill smiled into the receiver, “he kissed me on the first date.”

”Uh huh. And?”

“And several times in the park today.” His smile grew, along with the warmth in his belly and he jumped up from the couch, unable to sit still any longer. Opening the sliding glass door, he stepped out onto the balcony and let the afternoon sun warm his face.

”Oh, my! Well, things are progressing well, then, aren’t they?” David sounded genuinely happy for him.

“Well, yes, but,“ Bill grunted and leaned against the railing, looking absently at the pavement four stories below, “his daughter doesn’t know about us.”

”So?”

“So she’s five! She’s so young to be finding out about something like this. Tom wanted to talk to her, explain to her, but…” Bill groaned and winced.

”Uh oh. I don’t like that ‘but’.”

“Yeah, me neither. She caught us red-handed. Or lip-locked, anyway.” Bill could still see the look of confusion on Janni’s face and didn’t envy Tom the job of explaining to her what kind of relationship he had with Bill.

“And how did she take that?”

“She seemed a little confused, because, of course, she’s never seen two guys kiss before. I think Tom and I are the only two gay people in the whole town.”

David laughed heartily, “Honey, I sincerely doubt that. Those houses just have some mighty big closets, I bet.”

Bill hummed his agreement in a sigh.

“How did Tom explain, then?”

“He didn’t. He’s going to tonight, I guess. I don’t know. But I keep thinking that I just don’t want to cause a problem for him. And for her! I mean, can you imagine being just this little thing, used to just having daddy for herself, and all of a sudden, daddy’s got a boyfriend?” He paused on that word. Yeah, it’s early for them, but to hell with it. He can’t pretend that he doesn’t care about Tom. As far as he’s concerned, Tom is his boyfriend.

“Honestly? No. But I grew up in New York City. Men kissing are nothing. You know, in the subway the other day, I saw these guys go behind the—“

“David! Focus, would you?” Bill cut him off with a grin.

“Pushy bitch, aren’t you? I don’t even get to tell my story.” David huffed.

“I think that’s what I’m a little afraid of. Maybe I’m pushing him too fast, too hard. Maybe he’s not ready for all of this.”

Bill heard David pshaw. “Don’t you think he’d tell you if you were?”

“Mm, maybe. So you’re saying—“

“I’m saying that you have to learn to trust him. He’s Janni’s dad, he knows what’s right and what’s good for her. And he’s got to do the damage control. So you let him do it and you worry about you for right now.”

Bill thought for a moment, wandering in from the balcony and over to the refrigerator. He opened it, peered inside and closed it again without ever seeing what was in there. “Of course, you’re right,” he sighed.

“Well, of course I am, honey.” Bill could hear David’s grin.

“God, you’re so good for me, David. Where were you when I was growing up and needed a father?” Bill sat back down on the couch, folding his legs underneath him.

David laughed. “Probably getting my toenails painted and sleeping with the drag queens down in the Village. I wouldn’t have been the best role model.”

Bill laughed. “No, in that case, probably not. So tell me about the guys in the subway?”

~~~

Janni dropped the last of her toys into the toy box and closed the lid before scrambling onto her bed and crawling under the covers. Tom pulled her blanket up and tucked it under her arms, handing her Brownie, and she took the stuffed bear from him with a smile.

“All set?” He kept poking at her blankets, pushing them further under her back.

“Dad, it’s too tight!” Janni whined and wiggled against the sheet. “Can I have a story?” Janni asked when he’d sat back and raised his hands, showing that he wasn’t tucking any more.

Tom took a deep breath. “You remember we were going to have a talk tonight?”

Janni looked at him, holding her palm up, a smirk on her face. He set his palm against hers and folded his fingers down quickly over hers, making a munching sound. “NOM nom nom nom nom!”

Janni giggled and tried to pull her hand free while Tom’s hand “ate it.” After a moment, Tom held her hand still. “Now, listen. Let’s talk for a minute, okay?”

Janni nodded solemnly.

“I’m not sure how to explain this, so I’m just going to try and I need you to tell me if there is anything you don’t understand.” Tom petted her hand and she snagged his fingers, the pads of her small fingers running over his nails. Again she nodded, and Tom continued. “You know how a lot of your friends have a mom and dad at home? But you don’t have a mom at home, you just have me, right?”

“Yeah.” Janni looked down where fingers were poking at Tom’s nails, making the pink nail bed turn white where she pushed in.

“That’s because their mommy and daddy fell in love. They met, they started a relationship and they fell in love. Do you know what love is?”

“That’s when the princess marries the prince and they live happily ever after, the end.” Janni grinned and nodded, obviously pleased with knowing the answer.

Tom chuckled. “Well, yes. But love doesn’t just happen between men and women. Sometimes,” he leaned closer, as if sharing a secret, “sometimes two boys fall in love.”

Janni stared at him for a moment before she squinted at him, looking dubious. “Like two princes?”

“Sure, like two princes. Or two bus drivers, or any two men who fall in love. And you know what? Not just men and women can be in love, not just two men, but two women can be in love, too.” Tom tapped the end of her nose lightly and she squeaked. “Anyone can be in love with anyone.”

“Can I love Brownie?” Janni kissed her bear with a loud smack, right on his bear lips, and Tom’s heart melted a little. He blessed every day that he got to spend with this little girl.

“Yes, you can love Brownie, but you can’t date Brownie and be in love with him.” Tom emphasized. “He’s just your friend that sleeps with you. Okay?”

Janni nodded and cuddled Brownie closer, tucking his fuzzy head under her chin.

“When you saw Daddy kissing Bill in the park today, it’s because Daddy and Bill like each other a lot and we’re…” Tom hummed and rubbed the back of his neck, “well, we’re starting a relationship. Like I explained.”

“Does that mean you’re in love with Bill?” Janni’s eyelids were starting to droop and she yawned.

“I don’t know yet. It takes a little time to know that.” Tom petted her hair, smoothing the blonde strands from her face. “So are you okay with this?”

“Mhm, yep.” Janni let her eyes fall closed completely and Tom kissed her forehead softly, breathing in her scent. He watched her sleep for a moment, thankful for all he had but thinking about what the future might hold for them.

He thought their talk had gone really well, but as he turned off her light, the soft glow of the nightlight casting shadows throughout the room, he wondered if it could really be this easy.

Next

Comments

[hollie136.livejournal.com]

Well, I still adore you, and this story. Tom did it right. His explanation was said in the perfect way for a child to understand. Like two princes? Or two bus drivers See, a child would understand that. (that was so cute)

David!!! Yay! Oh god, girl, it’s like the frikkin’ Sahara around here! cracked me up.

I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of the bitchy PTA broad. (I just realized I'm going thru' this story backwards) I bet she's the type to gossip. Then her opinions are going to get back to Janni, who's going to rethink her dad's relationship; question what he told her. Crap.

But anyway. You have Tom dealing with this so well. His first priority is Janni, even though he knows he has feeling for Bill that have to be dealt with. You have Bill being so wonderfully understanding, for someone who doesn't have much dealings with kids.

This is such a beautiful story, I wish I could express myself better these days. Just know that I love this.

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

Girl, you always know the perfect thing to say, do you know that? I didn't know how David's humor would come off because I just don't do humor well. I love that it worked and people seem to like him.

Honey, you expressed yourself very well! I appreciate every single word, and I thank you so much for reading this and for telling me what you think of it. It means tons to me. *loves* <3

[itzerikaaa.livejournal.com]

PHEW! Tom's little girl is just too sweet. Let's hope my child is as understanding when I go to explain why I'm dating both Kaulitz twins XD Ugh if Heather's mom tries to rally the PTA against Tom and Bill I might have to insert myself in your story and cause bodily damage. I'm so concerned about Janni's friends not being able to play with her anymore. She'll just have to force Bill to color with her to fill the void =/

I'm so glad Bill has David to calm him down. He probably would have freaked out a few times without him.

I had the sneaking suspicion that you would be posting. You're making me use my happy icon again today<3 I'm glad that you found time to write. It really does make my night. *snuggles*

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

Somehow I missed responding! I'm sorry!

I really happen to enjoy your happy icon. And you know, your feedback means a lot to me. Thank you! <3

[cruisecontrolx.livejournal.com]

I admire your ability to write both Tom and Bill as real actual people, not characters. I feel like I'm reading a well-documented account of someone's life instead of fanfiction.

And if you don't have kids, you're doing a great job writing someone who does.

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

This has to be the best comment or review I've ever received for my writing. This is exactly how I wanted the story to feel, and to know that what I'm doing is actually working, thrills me no end. Thank you so very much!

I have two children of my own and three step-children. I guess I have a little bit of experience with kids. I'm happy that the experience is reflected in the story. Thank you again! :D

[cruisecontrolx.livejournal.com]

You're welcome so very much! I look forward to this story being updated and I basically drop everything to read it as soon as possible when it is. I'm glad I could give you just a little joy, because you make me smile every time I read a new chapter! C:

I have nieces and nephews, two each. I definitely see the five-year-old in Janni and that always makes me grin.

[fyredancer.livejournal.com]

Tom is an awesome father. Like Bill, I am jealous of Janni for having that.

I think that he explained things beautifully. And, yep, Tom, for Janni it can be that easy! It will be a bit harder to explain other peoples' prejudice, and Janni and Tom dealing with the fall-out of that, I fear.

Still doing a beautiful job of portraying the slow-building desire and trust and friendship between Tom and Bill. *happy sigh* I love how much they obviously wanted to kiss each other, and touch each other, but they did after all muster the self-control to set it aside for later. (But I must confess I'm looking forward to seeing what happens when they have time and leisure to really BE together.)

David added a bit of sass and humor to round out this chapter. Very good! I didn't want it to end!

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

oh goodness, I didn't realize I hadn't answered these! *fail*

I think adults expect the kids to be more freaked out because they're freaked out. Kids are usually just like ... pfft. Mine were. ;)

It means so much to me that you're enjoying this and the pacing and the characterizations. I'm more than thrilled. Thank you so much! <3

[dusk037.livejournal.com]

Just pure <3.

I love how daddy!Tom explained things to Janni.

That moment with Sherrie does not bode well, but I'm not letting it dampen my love for this chapter.

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, honey! <3

[mrs-e-cat.livejournal.com]

I totally adore this fic of yours <33
I love how understanding Bill is of Tom's relationship with Janni, and how sweet he is to Tom, Bill offering his hand and asking if Tom were okay just made me 'awwww'
I love your David =) Janni's perception of love is so cute, and I love the princes question. Wonderful chapter hon XD

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

I think Bill is just an amazing guy, overall. So perfect for Tom, and for Janni. :)

Thank you, sweetheart, I'm glad you liked it! :D

[evvva]

Tom is such a great dad :)

This was wonderful. <3

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

Thank you! <333

[subtlemagic.livejournal.com]

Two princes, that was so sweet. 5 year olds should all have homosexuality explained to them that way.

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

Aw, that made me smile. Thank you! <3

[lady-blue-peach.livejournal.com]

Another good chapter I must say. Tom is such a good dad....(what the world lacks...more good dads)

And I'm sure Heather wont be able to play with Janni because her Mommy talks to much...or it will go around the playground because children can be as bad as adults...

(Sorry getting ahead of myself.) But I do love David...oh to funny is he... He's better as a gay adviser...hahahah..

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

Goodness yes, the world needs more good dads!

Haha, it's okay to think ahead. I just won't say for sure! lol

Thank you for reading and for the feedback! <3

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Curiousity and all that. :-) I am new to the fandom, and... Well, I got curious on your story. It was a very nice read. I have read it all up till this chapter. You have handled a lot of sticky situations excellently in this. Things do get complicated when there is kids around, don't they? Well. I just wanted to thank you for this wonderful read, and that I can't wait for an update. :-)

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry this is so late; I really thought I'd responded! *fail*

I'm really thrilled that you're new to fandom and took a chance on my story. I'm even more thrilled that you're liking it so much. Thank you so much for the kind words! <3

[click-bang-dead.livejournal.com]

This is just aww <3 I think you did a wonderful job with the way Tom explained to Janni about him and Bill :D

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

Thank you! <3

[sorion.livejournal.com]

That was lovely ♥ Love how Janni takes it... Two princes can make a dashing couple, too ^_~ (Or how is the saying? Prince Charming isn't coming, he's dating Mr. Right *ggg*)

But if the issue of "for Janni's sake because she gets/might get bullied we shouldn't see each other again" comes up, I'm driving to backwater central where Tom lives with my imaginary baseball bat to smack some idiots! >:(
Err... No, I am not aggressive, at all. Nope. XD

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

Haha, right! I think she understood, it just wasn't the big deal that Tom though it was going to be. Sometimes we worry over nothing.

And that's the different story. Children learn what their parents teach them, and too many times, the parents are teaching intolerance. We'll have to see how it goes, eh?

I love that you're passionate about it! Just wonderful. Thank you! <3

[cristy22.livejournal.com]

I love how Bill is so concerned with Tom and how Janni feels. I think that truly shows how much he cares for Tom.

“Can I love Brownie?” Janni kissed her bear with a loud smack, right on his bear lips, and Tom’s heart melted a little.
I love this line. It's so fitting for a child her age and really shows you how innocent kids are until adults start pushing their views on to them. That is definitely something my niece would have said too. I thought Tom handled the situation well considering he was hoping to do more damage control. I hope she doesn't have any issues. That lady was terrible that was the mom of Janni's friend. Hopefully as Janni gets to know Bill it will all work out.

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

I'm really loving that Janni's dialogue seems so right on for a child her age. It's been many years since my kids were that small, so sometimes I forget a little, you know?

Thank you so much for reading and for the feedback. It means a lot to me. <3

[di-glossia.livejournal.com]

Those houses just have some mighty big closets, I bet. The quintessential mother queen. Great line. I wonder though if Bill is really that obvious that some woman would be able to tell he's a guy- or maybe it was his clothes and makeup? Those would certainly be off putting even around here.

Sometimes,” he leaned closer, as if sharing a secret, “sometimes two boys fall in love.” STORY TIME! I can just imagine Tom's eyes getting real big as he says it and Janni giggling madly.

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

I really enjoy that you quote lines and tell me what you think of them. Sometimes it makes me realize things about my story that I didn't before, like the quintessential mother queen thing. But I guess it's true. Thank you. :D

[katanabutch.livejournal.com]

I'm loving this! And David is perfect, he's like all the queens I hang out with ^^